“What does it mean to be kind?” sounds like a simple question. Just like leading teams with kindness and confidence sounds easy at first.
But in the middle of intense assignments and looming deadlines, being kind while getting work done doesn’t always feel easy. In fact, it can be overwhelming.
When you’re under that much pressure, it’s hard to know where to start. And that simple question, “What does it mean to be kind?” doesn’t seem so simple anymore.
I’ve experienced the anxiety and confusion pressure brings. And I didn’t like it. At all.
If you’re feeling that way, or I should say, “when” you feel that way, I want to encourage you.
You know what to do. Take a deep breath and remember your training.
I received my training a long time ago and I bet you did too.
Don’t remember your kindness training? Let me remind you.
Early training sessions
Let’s go back to a simpler time of life. Early elementary school. Maybe even kindergarten. Back when training sessions included adults reading books to you while you sat on a carpet square.
Go back to that period of your life. Sit back. Relax. And let Ms. Kelly read us a story.
(If you prefer puppets and some pretty funny voices and commentary, this is the video for you.)
What Does It Mean to Be Kind – short and powerful
Thank you, Ms. Kelly. Great job!
The book, “What Does It Mean To Be Kind?” written by Rana DiOrio and illustrated by Stephane Jorisch [affiliate link] is short but it is packed with wisdom. It also has simple, practical tips on how to be kind.
The book’s setting is a children’s school, but the concepts can be applied anywhere we interact with other people, including our teams.
If you want to lead teams with kindness and confidence, I encourage you to start applying these principles whenever you have opportunity.
You really don’t need much more training to get started because the concepts are simple and I’m sure you’ve heard them all before.
Leadership training from a children’s book?
Since you’ve heard all this stuff before, I expect that some of you may be tempted to think these ideas are not worth reviewing.
After all, what kind of leader gets their training from a kid’s book?
Well, apparently I do.
You may recall my post Want to be an Expert? Act Like a 5th-grader. Now I’m sharing books written for kindergarteners.
Is this a blog for kids?
Don’t fall for the temptation to think good training needs to be complex or take a lot of time to complete.
The value of any training comes in actually applying what is taught not from the length of the course or the level of sophistication of the material.
This point was reinforced to me as I listened to Janet Smith Meeks’ book Gracious Leadership: Lead Like You’ve Never Led Before [affiliate link].
The wisdom she provides for aspiring leaders might seem like common sense in its simplicity. However, the steps she provides will undoubtedly lead to success when applied consistently. See my blog post Can A Kind Leader Be Successful? for more from this book.
So here’s my question for you (and for me).
As leaders and teammates are we actually applying what we learned about kindness in our elementary school years?
Let’s use the points from the book, “What Does It Mean To Be Kind?” as a quick test and a way to stimulate our thinking on leading with kindness. Before we do that, however, let’s learn a little more about the author.
Being kind according to Rana DiOrio
Rana DiOrio is the author of an award-winning series of picture books that includes What Does It Mean to Be Global?, What Does It Mean to Be Green?, What Does It Mean to Be Present?, and What Does It Mean To Be Safe?. [affiliate links].
This accomplishment in itself is impressive. But, she is also a mom, an entrepreneur, and a force for empowerment and positive change.
I encourage you to explore the inspiring work she is doing through Creative Mint and One. Rana DiOrio is making a difference in the world.
Ms. DiOrio is clearly experienced and actively applying her message of leading and being kind. So, even though I’m an adult and the book is written so a child can understand it, I am taking her words seriously.
I’m taking Ms. DiOrio’s book so seriously in fact that I’m going to break up this post into multiple posts.
I know it’s a simple children’s book which can be read by Ms. Kelly in 3 minutes. But, there are so many powerful lessons here.
I don’t want us to skim over them and miss the opportunity to grow in our ability to lead teams with kindness and confidence.
With that in mind, let’s dig into the first three points of the book and consider how it applies to our unique team environments. We’ll cover more in future posts.
I will provide some brief comments on each point, but I encourage you to pause and think about your own situation.
What I write doesn’t matter nearly as much as what you actually go and do. So ask yourself this question.
How can I apply these fundamental lessons on kindness as I serve as a teammate and as a leader?
Being kind means:
Smiling at a new student in class
When someone you don’t know walks into a meeting or the locker room, how do you greet them?
Do you greet them to help them feel comfortable? Or do you barely acknowledge their presence because you’re not sure what to say.
You really don’t have to say anything if you don’t feel like it. Just smile at them.
A simple smile can calm a newcomer and make them less nervous in their new environment. Even those who are confident meeting new people will be encouraged by a welcoming face.
Giving someone a compliment
Praising a teammate for work they’ve done well is a great way to encourage them and build a positive atmosphere for the entire team.
The praise can be through a simple comment, a short email, or even a hand-written note.
A statement like this can be a major confidence booster for your teammate.
“I appreciate the comment you made during our team meeting. It’s obvious you really care about the issue and have thought about it a lot. Thanks for speaking up.”
It can be the catalyst for them making another positive comment next instead of keeping their good ideas to themselves.
Compliments communicate that you see and hear the other person. Being seen and heard is critically important for all of us.
Holding the door open for someone else
A teammate may not need a door held for them, but someone on our teams can always use a little help in some way. We’ll see those opportunities if we’re looking for them.
The thing slowing them down may not be a closed physical door. You may need to open the door for them to enter into an opportunity or a relationship that will benefit their project or their career.
Offering to help a teammate, especially when you have nothing to gain personally, shows them you care about them. Kind acts like these remind our teammates that they are valued and appreciated.
Apply what you’ve known since elementary school
These are three powerful lessons and we’re just getting started. We’ll continue through the lessons of the book, “What Does It Mean To Be Kind?” by Rana DiOrio [affiliate link] in my next post.
For now, though, consider this.
We’ve all known these things for a long time. And, we all know they are the right things to do whenever we interact with people.
It would be hard to find someone who would disagree with the message of this children’s book. So I encourage you to take these actions with confidence.
Don’t be timid in being kind.
And remember.
If anyone gives you grief for acting with kindness, you can be sure they were told the same things by their families and their teachers when they were young.
I encourage you to gently remind them of their training.
You may even want to share this post with them so they can relive a bit of their childhood and become a little more kind in the process.
Let’s do something great.
Greg
Discussion Questions
- Which of the lessons from What Does It Mean To Be Kind will you apply this week?
- Which lesson is the most challenging for you to implement? How might you get the support you need to overcome this challenge?
I’m interested to know how you’ve been able to apply these lessons on kindness with your teams. Please share your experiences in the comments section so we can learn together.
