One Meeting Minute Thought for Your Week
A kind meeting leader. That’s what we all want to be known as.
The problem is most leaders who are trying to be kind are really just being nice.
And kind and nice are NOT the same.
I’ve written on that topic before and could spend much more than a quick minute talking about it now.
But this is M4 – the Monday Morning Meeting Minute (not hour!) so for now we’ll focus on 5 steps you can take to be a kind meeting leader.
And help you recognize how you might be unintentionally choosing to be nice when you’re trying to be kind.
5 steps to be a kind meeting leader
There are many ways to be a kind meeting leader and I’ve found these 5 steps are a good way to start.
- Interrupt
- Report reality
- Recommend breaks
- Involve all meeting participants
- Provide a psychological safe space
We’ll start with an action you might try to avoid – interrupting.
1. Interrupt
This one may surprise you, especially if you’ve been taught all your life that interrupting is rude.
It certainly can be, but when you’re a kind meeting leader, you need to interrupt in certain situations.
When a person in your meeting will NOT stop talking, they’re having a negative impact on the people in your meeting and your business.
I know you’ve experienced the excruciating frustration of sitting in a meeting and listening to someone ramble.
This is one of the most common complaints I hear from my clients when I ask them to describe a bad meeting.
And, it’s especially irritating when the leader of the meeting doesn’t do anything about it.
They just let the person talk and talk and talk and talk some more for what seems like FOREVER!
Most meeting leaders want to be nice in this situation when they should be kind.
Here’s the difference.
👎 Nice Meeting Leader: Let someone ramble and dominate your meeting.
👍 Kind Meeting Leader: Politely interrupt the rambler without being rude.
Not sure how to interrupt someone during a meeting?
Scroll down for resources that will help you learn exactly how to do it.
2. Report Reality
This step to be a kind meeting leader is EXTREMELY important.
Because if you don’t implement this discipline, you could lose your job!
Seriously, the difference between being nice and being kind when it comes to reporting on your project could directly impact your career.
👎 Nice Meeting Leader: Hide bad news so senior leaders don’t worry about the project.
👍 Kind Meeting Leader: Share actual status and the actions being taken to solve problems.
It’s not easy to tell your leaders when things aren’t going well, but they must know reality so they can provide support.
And, they need to know you’ve got the situation under control so they can trust you and the team.
I use this Project Review Scorecard format and consistently get positive feedback.
The one page format makes it easy for me to communicate clearly and highlight exactly where a team needs support when things aren’t going well.
If you’d like to use this Project Review Scorecard too just click here.
3. Recommend breaks
I get a sinking feeling when I’m leading a meeting and see everyone on their phone.
You probably do too.
But it happens to everyone.
So what do you do in a situation like that?
Here are a couple of options:
👎 Nice Meeting Leader: Ignore the fact that everyone is on their phone not paying attention.
👍 Kind Meeting Leader: Ask if a break would let people return their focus to the meeting.
I’ve found the second option to be beneficial for my meeting participants and for me.
A short break almost always turns things around.
4. Involve all meeting participants
Some people tend to talk a lot in meetings.
You know the type.
They’re energetic, outgoing, and sometimes don’t even realize it when they interrupt someone else.
That’s especially true if the person they interrupt is hesitant to speak up.
Most people will miss it when the more reserved person leans forward slightly and quietly starts to speak.
You, as the meeting leader, notice those subtle cues while the exuberant person adds yet another comment to the conversation.
When that happens, should you be nice or kind?
👎 Nice Meeting Leader: Keep quiet when a dominant personality interrupts a less outgoing person.
👍 Kind Meeting Leader: Speak up and invite the interrupted person to share their thought.
I recommend being a kind meeting leader.
You can say something like this:
“Hey, Frank. Before you go on, I think Matt was about to say something. Matt, did you have something to add?”
5. Provide a psychological safe space
Being a kind meeting leader means you must deal with difficult situations when they occur.
For instance, if your company is going through significant changes, the people in your meeting need support.
You can try the nice approach, or you can embrace the discomfort and be kind.
👎 Nice Meeting Leader: Pretend everyone is “fine” despite the difficult changes happening in the business.
👍 Kind Meeting Leader: Provide a safe space in your meetings to answer questions and listen to concerns.
Plowing ahead and avoiding people’s emotional condition may be easier in the short term.
But scheduling time on your agenda to discuss the changes going on is a good long-term investment.
Your coworkers will feel supported and be more productive and effective because of the psychological safe space you’ve created.
More Resources to Help You Build Your Career and Your Business
Kindly interrupting someone during a meeting isn’t as hard as you might think. Check out these blog posts to learn how.
✅ How To Politely Interrupt Someone In A Meeting (click here)
✅ How To Stop Someone From Rambling So They Can Be Heard (click here)
Or this Connect Mobilize Deliver podcast episode:
✅ How To Protect Your Meeting From A Rambler (click here)
This blog post with input from leadership experts Brene’ Brown and Janet Meeks will help you learn more about what being kind REALLY means.
✅ Can A Kind Leader Be Successful? (click here)
Not sure what psychological safety really means?
Explore this interview with Amy Edmondson, the Harvard Business School professor who coined the term. (click here)
In the article, Edmonson says this:
“Creating a psychologically safe environment isn’t about being ‘nice.’ In fact, there are many polite workplaces that don’t have psychological safety because there’s no candor, and people feel silenced by the enforced politeness. ‘Unfortunately, at work, nice is often synonymous with not being candid.’”
Amy Edmonson
And Now a Word from Our Sponsors
Listen to more episodes of the Connect Mobilize Deliver podcast. You can also find it by simply searching for “Connect Mobilize Deliver” on your favorite podcast listening app.
That’s All for this Issue
Don’t just be nice, be a kind meeting leader!
Take these 5 steps in your meetings to get started.
- Interrupt
- Report reality
- Recommend breaks
- Involve all meeting participants
- Provide a psychological safe space
Let’s lead with kindness and confidence!
Greg
Here are 3 ways I can help you when you’re ready:
- Get more free resources you can use today (Click here to Start)
- Improve on your own with digital courses (Click here to Improve)
- Accelerate your progress with coaching (Click here to Accelerate)
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