Sometimes being a kind and confident leader is simple. To prove my point, I’m going to show you how you can do that with just a smile and a nod.
Oh yeah, and a click of your mouse.
Let’s start with a short quiz.
4 questions to see if you’re ready
Please take a few seconds to answer these four questions. And, don’t worry. Tests don’t get much easier than this.
Question 1: Can you smile?
Question 2: Can you nod your head?
Question 3: Are simple phrases like this in your vocabulary?
“Good point”
“That makes sense”
“I like what you said there”
Or even “uh huh”
Question 4: Are you on video conferences often?
Ready for the results?
If you answered Yes to “Are you on video conferences often?” (and who isn’t these days, right?) and Yes to any of the first three questions, I have good news for you.
You have the opportunity to be kind to your teammates and make a big positive difference in their day with a simple act of kindness and leadership.
And, if you answered Yes to all four questions, you may even be overqualified for the job.
Presenting live to an absent audience
Before I give you the super simple secret to being kind with just a smile and a nod, I want you to imagine yourself as the presenter in the image above.
Has that ever been you?
Have you ever presented live to a group of people and had absolutely no response from the audience?
You were talking to them, but you had no feedback to indicate they were hearing what you were saying. No head nodding. No facial expressions. Nothing.
The seats might as well have been empty. Or maybe they were empty.
The audience was definitely absent, if not physically then definitely mentally
I’ve been there and you probably have been too.
Doing a presentation to an absent audience is hard. Really hard. Painful. You can’t wait to be done.
The same scenario in the virtual world
Now, think about the last video conference you were on with a large group and a single person presenting content.
What was your experience?
Did you see the live video of the participants along with the presenter’s video feed?
Or, did you see only the presenter live and a sea of still photo headshots of the participants?
Or maybe just generic placeholder images with the person’s initials. You know the big double T for your teammate Terrence Tidewater. Very personal, right?
Maybe it wasn’t that bad. One person had their camera on. Or maybe even two.
I was on a call like that this morning.
My experience this morning
Let me start by saying this was not a boring video conference call. This one was fantastic.
I was on a diversity and inclusion action committee meeting and the subject was unconscious bias. This was important, relevant material we were all deeply interested in learning.
The presenter was outstanding. She was going through the material with energy and passion.
This young woman was doing a fantastic job of engaging her audience.
What the presenter saw
Then I took a moment to zoom my view out a bit by changing my focus from just her video feed to my entire screen.
I saw what she was seeing. And, it startled me.
Her view was of an audience of still photos and several sterile images with the impersonal first and last initials.
She might as well have been the presenter in the photo above, talking to room full of empty seats and one dude who was barely awake.
What was really going on
The problem was she did not see what was really going on. She did not see her teammates smiling and nodding their heads.
But, that’s exactly what I was doing. In my home office. Where no one, including the presenter, could see me…
And, based on the energy once we started the interactive part of the meeting, all of the other participants were doing the same thing.
It was 6 in the morning for most of us, but we were still leaning forward in our chairs. Our facial expressions mirrored our emotional involvement with the presenter and the topic. We were into it.
But the speaker had no clue that was the case.
To her, we might as well have been dozing off or not even there.
What I did about it
So, here’s what I did. Pay attention to this part. I’ll explain it slowly so you have time to write it down.
Ready? Here goes.
I turned on my camera.
Did you catch that? If not, let me repeat it.
I turned on my camera.
But wait. I didn’t stop there. Listen to this (pun intended).
I unmuted my microphone too.
Wow. Big courageous step, right?
Of course not. How simple is it to turn on my camera and unmute my microphone? It’s easy, right?
Thankfully, several others did the same thing. When we got to the interactive part of the call, nearly everyone was showing their early morning faces.
But, in that brief moment when we were all muted with video and audio, I was reminded of two important acts of kind leadership.
Let yourself be seen
The first act of kind leadership I was reminded of was this. Turn on your camera when you’re on a video conference.
People don’t really care if your home office is a mess or if your hair isn’t perfect (something I haven’t had to worry about for many years).
Your teammates really do want to see your face and your smile during meetings.
Think about it.
Don’t you find video conference calls less boring when the folks on the call have their cameras on? This is an important tip but I will leave a deeper discussion on that topic for another post.
The second and more important act of kind leadership goes beyond just being seen.
We need to be seen being engaged and actively listening.
Be seen being engaged
Turning on your camera isn’t an encouragement to the presenter if you’re not engaged with them. That’s like saying the presenter in the photo is encouraged because he can see the solitary bored guy in the audience.
If our video feed is going to show us looking at our phones (or worse, our empty seat if we’re taking a bio break), we’re not helping the presenter at all. We’re obviously making the situation worse.
But, it’s simple and easy to communicate to the person talking that we are paying attention and we care about what they have to say.
Engagement is communicated through simple body language
I didn’t do the research to include scientific studies on the power of body language. But I could have. We all know how it works.
Even without citing formal research, I’m convinced that the smiling and nodding our group was doing this morning made a positive impact on our teammate who was presenting.
We let her see our reactions to what she said.
We turned on our cameras so she could see us giving her a smile and a nod. She heard us say “That’s a good point.” or “I agree.”
And, it made a difference.
How do I know that if I didn’t confirm with her directly?
I’ve been there and I bet you have too
I know how the presenter felt this morning because I’ve been the one speaking on other video calls.
I’ve seen the list of participants with cameras turned off and it felt like a room full of empty chairs.
My mind started racing out of control as I tried to stay focused.
“Is anyone even still in front of their computer?”
“Are they all taking a bathroom break as the same time?”
“Is my microphone working?”
“Should I ask a question just to see if anyone is there?”
And on and on. It’s so distracting.
Even though I fight against it, the video silence and lack of feedback, audio or video, attacks my confidence.
But, when even just one person has their camera on, or even if they just unmute their microphone to give me an occasional “Uh huh”, I present better.
I have more confidence in what I’m saying. That’s natural to expect when someone is speaking to a group in person so it makes sense that it would be true when presenting virtually.
What to do
So, I’m going to keep the practical takeaway from this post super simple.
- Turn on your video camera when you’re listening to someone present.
- Smile and nod your head every once in a while.
- Mutter a couple of words now and then.
It’s not hard to do, but when you take these simple actions, you are being kind to your teammate who is presenting. You’re taking care of them and helping make their work easier and more enjoyable.
One more thing. If you’re in the audience of an in-person event, whether it’s a training seminar, a worship service, or a volunteer committee meeting, smile and nod there too. It’s just as effective in person as it is through a computer.
A smile. A nod. Two or three words.
Leading with kindness and confidence doesn’t get much easier than that.
Why it’s leadership
Before I close this post, I want to answer a question that may be in your mind.
You may be saying, “This all sounds like kindness. I get it. But, how is it leadership?”
Great question.
In my free guide, 5 Simple Ways to Lead When You’re Not the Leader, I explain that leading others doesn’t require a title.
The Kansas Leadership Center principle, “Anyone can lead, anytime, anywhere.” applies. Being engaged on a video conference, even with a smile and a nod, is something we can all do.
But, how many people actually do it?
My experience is not many.
Most people, and I’m guilty of this too, turn off their camera. They mute their microphone and they do other things when someone else is presenting. I’m not judging. Like I said, I do this far too often.
So if you want to set yourself apart, if you want to be seen as someone who truly cares about your teammates, engaging in video conferences is a simple and easy way to do that.
I also share in the free guide, how listening well is an act of kindness. This is true in person and on a video call.
And, kind leaders are attractive and gain followers.
So build your confidence as a kind leader.
Show your teammates you are different in how you care for them by engaging with them when they are presenting.
Put down your phone. Turn on your camera. Smile and nod your head.
As I said to start this post, sometimes being a kind and confident leader is simple.
Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.
Greg
Discussion Questions
- What’s the practice in your organization? Do people tend to have their video cameras on or off during virtual meetings?
- What other tips do you have to help us encourage our teammates who are presenting on video calls?
I’m interested to know how you put this into practice in your world. Please share your experiences in the comments section so we can learn together.
