CMD 026: Why Your Offer To Help Might Actually Hurt Your Team
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Hosted by: Greg Harrod
In This Episode
“Do you need any help?”
Wow! Did that question trigger me a while back!
I tell that personal story in this episode to explain how this simple question can be interpreted (or misinterpreted) in many different ways.
I’m sure you’ve been asked this question more times than you can remember. And, you’ve probably asked it hundreds of times too.
It seems like a useful question. But in some cases, asking “Do you need any help?” may not really help at all.
In fact, instead of helping your teammate, it may hinder their progress.
Like it did for me.
As a leader striving to lead with kindness and confidence, that’s not what you’re after.
So, to make sure we are actually helping our teammates when we offer assistance, in this episode we explore some different interpretations of this familiar question.
4 Interpretations of “Do You Need Any Help?”
1. Questioning my competence
Depending on who is asking me, I can sometimes interpret this question as communicating a lack of confidence in my ability to do the job I’ve been asked to do.
This interpretation might come when I’m feeling insecure about the work I’m doing or intimidated by the person asking. For instance, the person might be my manager or a person I look up to but I’m unsure of their opinion of me.
As a leader, it’s important to consider this possible interpretation of “Do You Need Any Help?” when seeking to support your teammates.
2. Revealing a disconnect regarding ownership
As you’ll hear in my story, this interpretation is what set me off. And, wrecked my productivity on an important project.
Don’t let this happen to you!
3. Asking me to do more work
I could be way off on this one, but being asked if I need help sometimes feels to me like I’m getting more work.
Maybe you and I cause others to have similar feelings based on how and when the question “Do You Need Any Help?” is delivered.
There are ways to avoid this if we’re aware of this interpretation.
4. Really wanting to help
This is the best interpretation of all.
Someone offers to help us and they really mean it. And, we actually interpret their offer for assistance as sincere and genuine.
As a leader, it doesn’t get any better than this.
How we listen to what people say is important. And, how we interpret the words that enter our minds is even more important.
When we consider these possible interpretations and then empathize before we ask “Do You Need Any Help?” we’ll be even more effective leaders and teammates in our organizations.
Links and Resources from this Episode
Testing multiple interpretations of a set of observations is a critical leadership skill. I’ve learned much on this topic from The Kansas Leadership Center. The book Your Leadership Edge is an excellent resource on this topic.
Managing our self-talk, reframing, and dealing with our inner critic is another important leadership skill. The work of Brene’ Brown and many others in this area is highly valuable.
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Thank You
As always, thank you for listening and for sharing this with others who may find the Connect Mobilize Deliver podcast valuable.
Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.
Greg
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