“How long have you known each other?”
What seemed like a simple question to me generated some interesting looks during a recent meeting I was in with a client.
(An anonymized client, of course, to maintain confidentiality.)
I was talking with the leadership team of a small, but operationally complex business.
And they didn’t really know how to answer the question.
It turns out that most of them were related or had been in the same class since kindergarten. So they couldn’t really remember a time when they hadn’t known each other.
I wasn’t surprised.
Many small businesses are like this.
The founders are married or have been best friends since high school or both. So, when their kid needs a job, she’s on the team. Or when that nephew who’s still trying to find his way in life is once again “between jobs,” that open role in the family business becomes a perfect fit.
Sometimes having family or lifelong friends in the same business works well. Sometimes it doesn’t.
And, in the case of the leadership team I was talking with, things were going great.
We were talking about their roles in the business and the types of work they truly enjoyed.
The more we talked, the more they learned about each other.
In fact, they were a little surprised to discover just how much there was still to learn about how to work together.
Because you can know a person for years and still not fully understand how to work together in a way that brings out the best in both of you.
I find that’s a common theme for the founders of small businesses and the leaders on their teams.
They’re Doing Well, But Want To Do Better as Leaders
In most cases, the leadership teams are functioning well and their businesses are growing. The market demand is strong and they’re making capital investments so they can serve their customers better.
But they aren’t satisfied with where they are as leaders. They know they can do better.
In fact, they know they MUST do better so their people can continue to thrive as their businesses grow.
That’s a big part of why they give me the privilege of being in these conversations.
They’re experiencing a reality that every leader who’s started and grown a business knows all too well.
When you grow your business, the gaps you have grow too.
Often with leadership teams, the gaps they first identify as the most important to address aren’t around what you might expect: supply chain disruptions, production constraints, or even getting and keeping good employees.
Of course, like every business, they face constant challenges in all those areas.
But the thing they say causes them the most pain is a fundamental skill we all struggle with: communication.
It shows up in different ways throughout our conversations when they say things like:
“In my head, I know what I want done, but I don’t do a good job of explaining it to others.”
and
“Information flow is a BIG problem throughout our organization.”
Their comments remind me of the Leadership Pulse Survey I did last year at the Wichita Industrial Trade Show.
Communication Is a Commonly Reported Problem
I asked business leaders at the show this question:
“If you could fix one problem with your team dynamics, what would it be?”
Sixty-eight (34%) of the answers had something to do with communication.
This isn’t surprising.
I suspect every leader in every business would say communication is one of their biggest challenges.
But the more I’ve thought about the conversations I’ve had with business leaders, I’ve realized something.
Communication problems are real, but they’re usually surface-level problems.
When you’re struggling to communicate well, your real challenge is almost always deeper than that.
At least that’s true for me.
The Deeper Challenges Below Communication Problems
My “communication” challenges are more accurately described as “understanding” challenges.
I don’t understand what I’m trying to say.
I can’t communicate my message clearly because I am not clear about it myself. When I begin to write it down, the fuzziness of my thinking is quickly exposed.
I don’t understand the person or people I’m communicating with.
Even if what I’m saying makes sense to me, I’m not sure how to express it in a way that’s effective and meaningful for the receiving party.
I don’t truly understand myself.
This is the understanding that is critically important to develop, but also the most elusive.
Why Understanding Oneself Is Critical to Communicating Well
It’s important for a leader to develop a clear message and deliver it in a way that resonates with their audience.
But the most effective leaders do more than that.
They ask themselves hard questions like:
“Why is this topic important to me?”
“What impact do I want to have on my team?”
“Am I willing to invest the time to communicate more clearly?”
These are the kinds of questions I’m challenging myself to answer in my own business.
Pondering deeper questions like these and wrestling with my honest answers is difficult, but necessary if I want to communicate well.
This increased self-awareness creates a stronger foundation for the messages I communicate. It also fuels my desire to better understand the people I get to share my life with: my wife, my family, my business partners, and my clients.
Clear understanding always comes before clear communication.
Simple Steps to Start Developing Better Understanding
You may be thinking this sounds great in theory, but impossible in your day-to-day reality.
Your business is running at a pace that barely gives you time to eat dinner with the family or say goodnight to your kids.
It feels like controlled chaos. And “controlled” may be stretching it.
The business leaders I spent time with are in similar situations.
And honestly, so am I.
Starting and scaling a business is demanding and can feel overwhelming at times.
And that’s exactly why I encourage you to follow the example of these leaders I told you about.
Here’s what they did.
A Short Conversation Can Have a Big Positive Impact
They invested about an hour to sit together as a leadership team and have an open, authentic conversation.
They had a short discussion that allowed them to get to know each other better, not only as unique individuals, but as coworkers.
The context was intentionally on how work gets done in their businesses.
They were focusing on how they do their best work as individuals and as a leadership team. And they were building a deeper understanding of themselves and one another so they could lead their people and their business more effectively.
They invited me into the conversation so I could facilitate the discussion from a more objective perspective. As the new guy in the room, I haven’t known them for years and I’m not an expert in their businesses, so I was naturally curious about them and the work they do. In several cases, they learned surprising things about each other simply by answering the questions.
And based on their comments as we wrapped up the sessions, I’m confident that even this one meeting produced a deeper level of understanding that will lead to better communication among themselves, with their teams, and throughout their organizations.
If you find yourself struggling with communication challenges in your business, you can do what these leaders did to make progress immediately.
3 Steps to Improve Understanding and Communication in Your Business
- Schedule 45 minutes to an hour with your leadership team. If it’s not on your calendars, it won’t happen.
- Invite someone to serve as facilitator so you can be fully engaged in the conversation.
- Talk about how you do your best work and invite others to do the same. Focus on understanding each other and the impact this has on your business.
Let me know how your conversations with your leadership teams go. I’d love to hear how your experience is similar to or different than the folks I met with last week.
And if you’d like some support, I’d be happy to talk with you about how I can help.
Helping you lead with clarity and confidence,
Greg
P.S. The easiest way to get on my calendar is to use my scheduling link. If none of those times work well for you, let me know. I’m sure we can figure out a time to connect.
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Greg Harrod
Greg Harrod is a Business Coach and Strategic Communications Partner. Follow GregHarrod.com to learn how you can build clear communication, aligned teams, and simple rhythms so your business runs smoothly. Greg will help you learn how to go from daily firefighting to calm, confident leadership by sharing his 30+ years of experience leading teams and businesses.
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