Most leaders have worked with someone they would privately describe as indecisive.
You may have someone on your team that comes to mind immediately.
You ask a clear question and you expect a clear answer.
Instead, you hear:
“Well… it depends.”
“I’m not completely sure yet.”
“I can see a few different ways this could play out.”
“There are other factors we should probably consider.”
Or you just get a long pause…
Meanwhile, someone else in the meeting gives an immediate answer with total confidence.
Think about your reaction to each person.
Which one did you trust more?
Who Should We Trust the Most?
If we’re honest, most of us instinctively trust the confident person more. And we appreciate the quick response that keeps the meeting moving.
The hesitant person can be frustrating.
Slow.
Hard to pin down.
Maybe even… wishy-washy.
Before you label that person indecisive, I encourage you to ask yourself this:
“What might they be seeing that I’m not?”
That question has changed the way I lead.
Because I’ve found that sometimes the problem isn’t indecision in the other person. The area for improvement is actually in me. It’s my own impatience and my lack of understanding of how some people are wired that’s causing my frustration.
Sometimes the person I’m being slightly annoyed by is processing complexity I haven’t fully recognized yet.
Learning to Value the Wait
I’ve learned that the some of the best answers are those that come more slowly.
For years, I assumed some people simply needed to:
- think faster
- be more decisive
- communicate more clearly
- stop overcomplicating things
- just make a decision and move forward for Pete’s sake!
And sometimes that’s true.
Some people genuinely do avoid ownership or commitment.
But that’s not always the case.
Sometimes what looks like hesitation is actually discernment.
You see two obvious choices. It’s clear and simple to you.
Their perspective is different.
They see unintended consequences, missing information, people dynamics, operational realities, timing concerns, or subtle assumptions nobody has challenged yet.
You think you’re choosing between A and B. It’s black and white.
They see the black and white too. And more shades of gray than they can count.
They’re noticing that A and B are both incomplete options.
Those are very different situations.
Which leads to an important leadership question:
Am I dealing with indecision?
Or…
Am I dealing with someone who is helping us think more clearly before we decide?
If you confuse those two things, you may shut down one of the most valuable perspectives on your team.
Fast Answers Are Not Always the Best Answers
One of the patterns I’ve noticed in the leadership teams I work with is that confidence often gets rewarded more quickly than thoughtful judgment.
The person who answers immediately sounds decisive.
The person who pauses sounds uncertain.
And the hectic pace of business can cause leaders to overvalue quick responses and actions.
But speed is not always evidence of wisdom.
And confidence and apparent clarity are not always as solid as they first seem.
Sometimes they’re evidence that someone is seeing only part of the picture.
What appears to be confidence and clarity on the surface may actually reflect an incomplete understanding of the situation.
The person slowing the conversation down may be helping the team avoid a costly blind spot.
That doesn’t mean every hesitant person is always right.
It also doesn’t mean teams should become paralyzed by analysis.
But it does mean wise leaders learn to distinguish between avoidance and discernment.
Those are not the same thing.
One Reason I Find Working Genius So Helpful
One of the reasons the Working Genius framework has been valuable to me is that it gives leaders a healthier way to interpret behaviors that are often misunderstood.
People with strong tendencies toward Wonder or Discernment are frequently the ones who:
- notice risks early
- recognize patterns
- ask difficult questions
- see complexity others miss
- hesitate to declare certainty too quickly
From the outside, that can look frustrating.
Inside their head, though, something very different is happening.
They’re trying to synthesize all the information they’re taking in so they can confidently recommend a direction.
And when leaders misunderstand that process, they often unintentionally shut down one of the most valuable perspectives in the room.
As a result, they miss the insight that is most important.
I’ve Had to Confront This in Myself Too
Part of why this topic matters to me is because I can be this person too.
My Working Geniuses are Enablement and Discernment, with Wonder not far behind.
So when I’m processing a situation, my brain naturally starts evaluating:
- patterns
- exceptions
- people dynamics
- operational realities
- downstream effects
- unintended consequences
Many times, I’m overthinking.
Other times, I’m noticing something important.
And honestly, when I’m in the middle of it, it can be hard to tell the difference.
There are moments where I genuinely cannot give a fast answer because I’m still sorting through what I believe is actually true.
That realization has helped me become less judgmental of others.
Especially people who don’t process decisions the same way I do. Some process more slowly than I do. Others process much faster.
How to Help Thoughtful People Contribute More Effectively
If you’d like to support those of us who can be “slow processors”, here are some suggestions.
1. Ask for their perspective directly
Many thoughtful people will not naturally fight for airtime in a meeting.
Especially if:
- they’re still processing
- someone more forceful is dominating the conversation
- they don’t yet have absolute certainty (which rarely comes for them!)
So invite them in directly.
Try something like:
“I have a feeling you may be seeing something the rest of us are missing. What concerns or considerations should we think through before we decide?”
That question changes the environment.
Now you’re not demanding immediate certainty.
You’re simply inviting them to share their insight.
Those are very different things.
2. Give them time to think before the meeting
Some people process externally. They like thinking out loud with a group.
Others process internally. Their preference is silent solitude.
The internally processing people often perform much better if they know ahead of time:
- where the tension or uncertainty exists
- what decision is being discussed
- what input is needed
Giving them a little preparation time can dramatically improve the quality of their contribution.
3. Stop forcing false either/or decisions
One of the most common leadership mistakes I see is this:
A leader unknowingly limits the conversation to two incomplete options.
Then they pressure the team to pick one quickly.
Thoughtful people often resist this because they see:
- missing information
- flawed assumptions
- or better alternatives that haven’t been explored yet
They tend to stay quiet and not share what they’re noticing.
And when the boss starts pushing hard for a decision right now, they definitely won’t open their mouth.
So instead of asking:
“Is it A or B?”
Try:
“Are A and B actually our best options, or are we missing something important?”
That small shift often produces much better thinking.
4. Learn the difference between delay and discernment
Not every pause is unhealthy and not every fast answer is wise.
Strong leaders learn to ask themselves:
- Is this person avoiding ownership?
- Or are they trying to protect us from overlooking something important?
Those require completely different leadership responses.
5. Don’t punish nuance
If every thoughtful contribution gets interpreted as:
- negativity
- resistance
- lack of confidence
- slowing things down
- “making things complicated”
Eventually your thoughtful people will stop speaking.
And once that happens, leadership teams become dangerously overconfident.
You don’t want a team that agrees quickly.
You want a team that thinks clearly.
Ideally you develop a team that does both. But that takes time and it’s rare.
Take Time to Pause Before You Label
Before you label someone indecisive, pause and stay curious. Ask what they may be noticing that you aren’t.
You’ll find that sometimes the issue really is overthinking and indecision.
But sometimes it isn’t.
Wise leaders learn how to tell the difference.
And often, that starts with examining their own assumptions before diagnosing the other person.
Because the goal isn’t simply faster decisions.
It’s clearer thinking and better decisions.
Helping you lead with clarity and confidence,
Greg
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Greg Harrod
Greg Harrod is a Business Coach and Strategic Communications Partner. Follow GregHarrod.com to learn how you can build clear communication, aligned teams, and simple rhythms so your business runs smoothly. Greg will help you learn how to go from daily firefighting to calm, confident leadership by sharing his 30+ years of experience leading teams and businesses.
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