Think back to the last farewell event you experienced with a coworker. Did you learn any leadership lessons?
I suspect you did and may not have even realized it.
That’s been the case for me at least. Because until I spent some time reflecting on my own experiences saying goodbye, I hadn’t noticed how much I could learn and apply personally.
Here are three powerful leadership lessons I’ve taken from the many times I’ve said goodbye to my coworkers throughout my career.
The typical farewell event
Farewell events come in many different forms. An event like this may be a big retirement celebration with a room full of people. Or, a dinner with a smaller group. A farewell event might just be an individual conversation with a colleague on their last day with the company.
It could even be your final day before you make a career move to try something new.
Regardless of the situation, in my experience, the person leaving and I rarely talk about the specifics of the projects we’ve worked on together. And, we don’t talk about how much the person contributed to the bottom line each year.
We talk less about work and more about the friends we’ve worked with and how the person leaving has impacted people’s lives.
And, that is the first of three leadership lessons I’ve gained from my many farewell conversations.
Lesson 1 – Invest in people and relationships
When I’m talking to someone who is about to move on to a new phase of their career, we spend nearly all our time recalling the stories of the people we’ve worked with over the years.
And, I try to tell the person who is leaving how much they mean to me. Without tearing up.
We focus on the relationships we’ve built with our coworkers. Our conversations often go deeper than those we had when it was “just another day.” The finality of a person’s last day brings out what is truly most important.
Farewell events bring clarity on what’s important
Each farewell conversation I have reminds me of the importance of investing in people.
These precious few moments of time while we’re still in the same organization cause me to see the value in developing meaningful relationships with the other human beings I have the privilege of interacting with as we do work together.
Perhaps you’re newer in your career than I am. You haven’t consumed as much retirement party cake and punch as I have.
I encourage you to trust me on this and take this advice:
Invest in people and relationships throughout your career.
Prepare for your farewell event now
Get to know your coworkers, not just on a surface level with conversations about work topics. Learn about them as fellow human beings. Share life with them.
When you’re together and have time to chat, talk about your families, your joys and struggles, your spouse, kids, pets, whatever. And, ask them about these type of things too.
As you interact and work together, ask them how they’re doing. Not just with their projects, but ask them how they are doing mentally and emotionally, without prying of course.
If you do this consistently throughout your career, when you see a coworker shaking hands and saying goodbye years from now, those memories will come flooding back to remind you of the connection you have with a colleague who is also a friend.
And, when it’s your turn to move on and you are talking to your teammates on your last day before embarking on a new career opportunity, these moments of shared humanity are what you will cherish.
But, I’ve found this isn’t true for everyone.
There are some people I’ve known and worked with for years but when they are about to become former coworkers, I honestly don’t think much about them.
Situations like this lead me to my second of three leadership lessons from farewells.
Lesson 2 – Live out your values
Not everyone has the same values. We don’t hold the same core beliefs and worldview as every one of our coworkers.
But, if you’re reading this blog, you and I likely take the same approach to living our lives, at work and everywhere we interact with people.
We truly care about people. Helping others be successful is important to us. We strive to be kind and compassionate leaders.
We’re not perfect and we don’t always get it right. But, we keep trying.
If we’re honest, we’ll admit that not everyone is like that.
Not everyone wants to lead with kindness
The “authentic self” some individuals bring to work isn’t an example we seek to emulate. We all have coworkers with very different leadership behaviors than ours. And, we don’t want to be anything like them.
When a farewell event occurs with a coworker who fits that description, I don’t have much to say when the emcee asks if anyone wants to say a few words about the guest of honor.
My grandma’s advice on what to do when you don’t have anything nice to say comes to mind.
Thankfully, many leaders do care for their people even when it’s hard
But, I almost always have a lot to say when the person departing has lived out values I respect and appreciate.
In fact, I could dominate the ceremony by communicating my admiration for a colleague I’ve observed serving sacrificially during their career.
I want them to know I’ve seen them wrestle with how to best care for their teammates while also meeting the challenging demands that go with being in a business.
And, this is one of the most important leadership lessons for you (and me) as a leader striving to lead with kindness and confidence.
Keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t give up when it’s hard to show empathy and compassion.
Focusing only on short term results has serious pitfalls
Don’t succumb to the pressure of “making the numbers” while damaging people and relationships in the process.
I know the temptation to achieve short term results is strong. It’s so much easier to take a shortcut to deliver what is demanded by the company or “The Street” for the month, the quarter, or the fiscal year.
But those shortcuts that look good in the short term can destroy the foundation needed for the success of the organization in the long term.
And, our coworkers see whether we’re taking those shortcuts or putting in the hard work to find solutions that last.
It’s often only when a person is leaving that they learn who was watching and respecting them as they lived out their commitment to take care of the people in the organization while also delivering business results.
That last statement about delivering results is critically important. And, it brings us to the last of the three leadership lessons from saying farewell.
Lesson 3 – Deliver results
The reality of the business world, or any organization, is this.
You have to deliver results.
If you can’t do your job well and execute what you’ve been hired to do, you won’t have the privilege of an enjoyable farewell event.
A farewell event that won’t be a party
Oh, you’ll have a farewell event alright. But, it most likely won’t be the kind that gives others the opportunity to share their thanks and praise with you as you depart.
It will probably be a closed-door discussion with your manager and a representative from Human Resources explaining how you need to move on to “pursue other opportunities.”
That may seem like a harsh scenario at first. But, it’s reality. And, it’s appropriate if you aren’t delivering results.
We’ve all known coworkers who were kind and compassionate. And, they were great people. But, they just couldn’t do their job well.
They couldn’t add enough value to cover what they were costing the organization. So, they needed to leave and go do something different.
These individuals needed to be in a position that was a better fit for their skill set. To thrive and be successful, they needed to find a role that allowed them to provide value and give as much or more than they took from the company.
Deciding to remove a person in a situation like this isn’t mean or heartless. It’s kind. Because it preserves their dignity and honor.
Delivering results allows a leader to impact lives
In contrast, think of the person who is leaving the company after many years of distinguished service. No one wants to see them go even when they know it’s the best thing for their friend and coworker.
That desire isn’t based solely on the person’s character or personality.
It’s also a result of knowing the person gets things done. They deliver results for the organization. And they help others do the same.
The person being honored on their last day caused the business to perform well financially in addition to building a positive and healthy workplace culture.
They earned the position that enabled them to positively impact people’s lives by delivering results.
Their investment in leading well and meeting financial business metrics provided jobs for their teammates. And, those jobs provided income for their coworkers and their families. The incomes created by sustained business performance fueled local economies and strengthened communities.
Delivering results is good for a business and it’s good for the people impacted by the business.
Leading with kindness and confidence requires you to consistently deliver results. (To read more on this concept, check out the post, “Want To Be A Kind And Confident Leader? Deliver Results.“)
And, it’s an absolute necessity if you desire to have a farewell event that gives you the opportunity to interact with people you’ve invested in over a long career.
How do you want your farewell event to go?
I encourage you to pause for a moment and consider how you want your farewell event to go.
The good news is if you’re still working, you can influence what that day will be like.
To impact that future experience, I hope you apply these three leadership lessons I’ve learned. And, many more you collect as you say goodbye to leaders you admire and respect too.
Because someday it will be your turn to say farewell.
So, take action now to make that day rewarding and memorable. Not just for you, but for those teammates you are leading now.
May your work result in an amazing farewell event for you and the many friends and colleagues you’ve influenced throughout your career.
Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.
Greg
