How To Be A Better Listener and A Kinder Leader

Being a better listener will help any leader be kinder and have more confidence. And, that’s what this blog is all about.

Each week I do my best to share what I know to help you improve in areas that will help you serve others better.

And, listening is one of those areas.

So, in this week’s post, I want to give you one action to take to be a better listener. And, as a result, a kinder leader.

Ready for that action? Here it is.

Get familiar with the work of Oscar Trimboli.

Sharing what I know

I love to share and teach what I know.

I even got a t-shirt with this cool logo when I signed up with ConvertKit, the email service provider I use (that’s an affiliate link by the way so if you click and then sign up for an account, I get a small commission and you pay nothing extra).

Isn’t that a cool slogan? ConvertKit lives out this motto in their business approach. That’s a big part of why I use and love their product.

But, how does sharing what I know relate to the topic of today’s post, how to be a better listener?

I want to help you improve in this area. I want to teach you what I know about listening.

The most valuable content I can share with you on this topic is how to learn from someone else, an expert.

If you take even a moment to listen or watch any of the links I include in this post, I am confident you will agree with me on this statement.

Oscar Trimboli is an expert on how to be a better listener.

How I met Oscar Trimboli

While I’m teaching you things I know, here’s another thing I know.

Coaching for Leaders with Dave Stachowiak, is an excellent podcast.

That’s where I met Oscar Trimboli.

Well, by “met” I mean I listened to this episode. And, for me, sometimes I really do feel like I know someone after listening to them on a podcast.

What I learned from this episode

So what did I learn from this podcast episode?

First, I learned that Oscar Trimboli knows waaaayyyy more about listening than I do. In fact, he knows more about listening than anyone I’ve ever heard talk about it.

And, it’s not like I’m a complete novice on the topic.

I know a little bit about listening.

In fact, my very first blog post was on listening: How to Listen to Understand not Just to Hear.

Then, I wrote another one: More Tips on How to Listen to Understand not Just to Hear.

And then another: Why We are Poor Listeners and How to Improve.

While my posts have some good information, the work of Oscar Trimboli is on an entirely different level.

For example, his personification of four habits that derail listening as four listening villains is spot on.

Which “listening villain” are you?

After hearing this concept of these four villains to listening, I was curious to learn more.

• Dramatic Listener
• Interrupting Listener
• Lost Listener
• Shrewd Listener

I wanted to know not only which listening villain I might be but what I could do about my bad listening habits.

A quick listening quiz on Oscar Trimboli’s website and the free personalized report he provided, gave me clear and accurate feedback.

More importantly, the report gave me several helpful tips to help me improve as a deep listener.

If you’re interesting in learning which listening villain you might be, check out this short video where Oscar introduces the quick quiz and the free resources he’ll provide to help you be a better listener.

I expect you will find it extremely useful just as I did.

After hearing the first podcast and taking the quiz, I wanted to learn even more.

So, I found another Coaching for Leaders podcast episode featuring Oscar as a guest.

My second listening lesson

This episode is just as good as the first one I shared. Maybe even better.

Deep Listening – An intriguing term

Most leaders know they should be good listeners.

But, deep listeners? What does that even mean?

As I said earlier, Oscar Trimboli takes listening to another level.

Or, as he explains in this introduction to his own podcast series, another five levels.

The Five Levels of Listening

1. Listening to Yourself
2. Listening to the Content
3. Listening for the Context
4. Listening for What is Unsaid
5. Listening for Meaning

I encourage you to take a couple of minutes to hear him explain deep listening in his own words.

Clearly, Oscar Trimboli knows a lot about listening.

But, he doesn’t know everything.

Why do I say that?

More resources to be a better listener

Oscar Trimboli’s website is packed with his own resources to help any leader become a better listener. This includes his book, Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words.

But, his Recommended Resources for Listening page, is also packed with valuable resources he didn’t create.

Oscar is teaching what he knows even when the material comes from other experts.

This list is a wealth of information for any leader who wants to be a better listener.

Here’s what it contains.

• 13 books
• 5 Ted Talks
• 3 Videos
• 6 Listening Overview links
• 6 Tips and Tricks articles
• 3 Active Listening posts
• 15 Leadership and Listening resources

If those resources don’t get you started on your path to being a better listener, I don’t know what will.

Any aspiring listener should be able to find something there to fit their interest and learning style.

I’ve bookmarked that page so I can go back to it regularly. I recommend you do too.

Kind leaders listen well

I haven’t had the privilege of meeting Oscar Trimboli in person yet. I hope I someday get that opportunity.

But, through hearing him communicate his compelling message of the importance of deeply listening to others, I get the impression he is a kind man. A leader who cares about the people he is listening to and training to listen to others.

Oscar’s example supports what I firmly believe.

Listening to others is an act of kindness.

It communicates to the other person that we care about what they have to say. We are willing to fight against our own listening villain tendencies and serve them instead of ourselves.

As kind leaders we must commit to managing our own desires and urges so that we can better understand the message others want to share with us.

So, do you want to lead with kindness and confidence?

I encourage you to investigate the work of Oscar Trimboli.

Follow his example and his teaching.

Invest time studying his material to become a better listener. A deep listener.

And, as a result, you will also become a kinder and more confident leader.

Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.

Greg

Discussion Questions

• Which of the many resources from Oscar Trimboli did you find most valuable?

• What barriers to listening do you struggle with?

I’m interested to know if any of these resources were helpful to you. Please share in the comments section so we can learn together.

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