Are you striving to perform well as a team member but also trying to avoid being arrogant and self-focused?
I’ve been in that position. I was asking myself this question: Can I be humble and successful on a team?
Maybe you’re wondering that too.
The answer I discovered was “Yes” but it took me some time and internal struggle to reach that conclusion.
I’m going to share some resources that helped me change my mindset and become a better teammate.
I’m confident they can help you on your journey to being a high performing team member as well.
My struggle with humility
I’ve always believed that humility is an important character trait, but I used to be unclear on whether being a humble team member would bring success for me and for my team. I wanted personal and team success but I also wanted to be a humble person.
I heard often that I should look out for myself more if I wanted to get ahead. That just didn’t feel right to me.
To be honest, though, I was afraid that being humble might mean that I was weak or ineffective as a team member.
I wanted to assert myself when I knew I had something to add to the team, but I didn’t want to be seen as arrogant.
Was I being confident or boastful? Humble or cowardly?
The conflict between being a man of character and a valuable member of the team was always churning inside me.
A big step in the resolution of my internal conflict came when I read Patrick Lencioni’s book The Ideal Team Player [affiliate link]. This post includes links to more resources on this topic.
Through this book and my own study and experience, I’ve learned how to put my internal conflict to rest.
A humble team member is an asset not a liability
Lencioni writes that the first and most important virtue of an ideal team player is humility. Such a strong statement from an established and respected expert on high performing teams and organizational health helped me to recognize the value of humility in a team setting.
He made it clear that being a humble team member is not only acceptable if you want to perform well on a team. It is required.
He describes the Humble virtue of an ideal team player in this way.
Ideal team players are humble. They lack excessive ego or concerns about status. Humble people are quick to point out the contributions of others and slow to seek attention for their own. They share credit, emphasize team over self and define success collectively rather than individually.
Patrick Lencioni
This affirmed what I felt but needed to have reinforced in my thinking.
Arrogance and excessive self-promotion are not required to be successful.
Humility is a positive trait that should be valued.
It is not a negative habit that will hinder your performance.
Humility and confidence
This idea wasn’t new to me. Down deep I knew that focusing only on myself wouldn’t make me a successful teammate.
I just needed the reassurance of what I really already believed.
What did challenge my thinking, however, was this.
Sometimes what appears to be humility is actually not humility at all.
Lencioni covers this at the 4:30 mark in this short video.
To deny our God-given talents is actually a violation of humility just like it is to exaggerate them.
Patrick Lencioni
Understanding that a lack of self-confidence is not true humility caused me to think in a new way.
This change in my thinking ultimately quieted much of my inner turmoil.
I learned to add more value to my teams by sharing my ideas and my skills with confidence not timidity. I contributed more to my teams.
This new mindset made me more humble and successful on my teams.
It was great that I was growing and learning, but I still needed something more.
I wanted to know what humility really was.
I needed a definition.
Humility defined
This time my answer didn’t come from Patrick Lencioni.
My answer came from a preacher who lived in England in the late 1800’s, Charles Haddon Spurgeon.
In his book, Gleanings Among The Sheaves, Spurgeon describes humility in this way.
Humility is to make a right estimate on one’s self.
Charles Haddon Spurgeon
Or course as a Christian, Spurgeon points to God and not ourselves as the source of all our power and talent.
This perspective alone brings a deep sense of humility and gratitude. I share his position but that wasn’t all that attracted me to Spurgeon’s definition of humility.
His call to be objective and consider the facts is what captured my attention.
I believe this approach is the key to understanding true humility and living it out in practical ways.
Be objective to be humble and successful
To “make a right estimate” means to see things as they really are, to acknowledge reality.
By admitting the truth about ourselves and our situation, we can be successful while maintaining humility.
Being willing to see and deal with what is true without deceiving ourselves brings increased freedom to make an impact.
True humility reveals opportunities that are hidden by pride.
If I have skills that benefit the team, I should use them confidently without being ashamed or embarrassed about being talented in certain ways.
If I don’t have the ability to do something, I can admit the truth so another team member can fill the role.
I don’t need to go against my personal convictions and follow the bad advice that boasting and self-promotion are required to be successful.
Humility isn’t required but I highly recommend it
It is always best to deal with reality and truth. And, the truth is you can be humble and successful.
I’ve learned this through the writings of wise men like Patrick Lencioni and Charles Spurgeon and through my own experience.
Of course humility isn’t required for a team to deliver results. We’ve all seen other approaches and the damage they bring to the people involved. Personally, I’m going to stick with my convictions and pursue humility.
I am convinced that being humble as a team member will bring success for individuals and for teams while building up people in the process.
How about you?
Is humility a trait you want to develop and apply in your journey to become the best teammate you can be?
Let’s do something great.
Greg
Discussion Questions
- Have you learned to balance being humble with being successful? What advice would give other based on your experience?
- How might you encourage your teammates to embrace humility?
I’m interested to know how you put this into practice in your life. Please share your experiences in the comments section so we can learn together.
Hi Greg and everyone taking advantage of this blog,
I came to grips with this tension between humility and confidence during my Pentagon assignment while in the USAF. In my morning reading and reflection time, I was struck by a pair of verses that I summarized in the acronym NOMBO…not only myself but others. It’s Philippians 2:3-4 if you want to check it out.
I was swimming in a very big pond with very impressive fish, and NOMBO helped me be bold about both contributing my abilities, and acknowledging the abilities of those I was teamed with. This was also another affirmation of servant leadership in my personal and professional life.
This is a timely comment for me personally, Marlon. These verses have been a topic of discussion recently with people close to me. My experience has been that it is easy to forget about the reference in verse 4 to look out for our own interests too. We can make it a badge of honor to not take care of ourselves which is not healthy or wise.
NOMBO is a helpful acronym for me to remember too. I’m sure you didn’t have enough acronyms at the Pentagon so it was good that you were able to add another.
A simple mind needs simple tools…