You’re striving to be a good leader and you want to check in with your team.
But, how can you do that without sounding awkward and pushy? Or, even worse, getting a superficial reply that doesn’t help your teammate at all.
It’s easier than you think.
Get started by trying this easy technique to check in with your team.
Who is on your team?
To start, let me remind you of my favorite definition of “team”.
I introduced this definition in the post “How Many Teams are You on? More than You Think.“
A number of persons associated together in work or activity
Merriam-Webster.com
Based on this definition, your teammate could be one of a group of 200 people you lead in a large corporation. Or, your team could be just you and your teenage son or daughter.
In the same post I also made this statement.
If you’re on a team, you can make a difference to your teammates. Even if you only have one other person on that team. They matter. They are important and so are you. You both have important roles to fill.
One of those roles is to check in with your team. To make sure they are doing okay.
But, we’ve all tried that haven’t we?
And, here’s how it typically goes.
How a check in with your team normally goes
A typical attempt to check in with someone on your team might go something like this. I’ll use a personal example.
Me: I know things are stressful right now. How are you doing?
My teammate: Fine.
Me: No really. You doing okay?
My teammate: Yeah. I’m good.
If any of you guessed my personal example as a typical conversation with one of my teenage sons, you nailed it.
Our attempts to check in with our team in a more professional setting may have more formality and a higher word count. But, in my experience, our dialogues often have a similar lack of depth.
It’s frustrating isn’t it?
Whether we’re leading as a parent, a coach, a manager, or a business owner, we want to connect with the people on our teams.
We want to check in with our teams and make sure they really are doing okay. And, if they’re not, we want to know that too.
Great leaders want to know how their teammates are really doing
As a leader in a position of authority or as a teammate leading through influence without a formal leadership role, we want to create an environment in which people don’t have to pretend things are always “okay”.
We want to build relationships and create a culture that allows people the freedom to have bad days as they manage the difficulties of life.
Everyone has to maneuver through the obstacles that come with being human.
If we aren’t having a day or a week or a month, shoot even a year, that makes us feel less than “okay” more often than not, we just need to wait.
We will all take our turn struggling through a difficult season at some point.
The team environment that helps us weather our storms is one of safety and trust. We need a culture that encourages transparency and vulnerability to thrive and flourish even when we feel like we’re just fighting to survive.
In an organization like this, when you reach out to check in with your team, the conversations go much deeper than a single word reply.
Building a culture where deeper, more honest and intimate check-ins are normal takes time and effort. But, it’s easy to get started using this easy technique.
A better way to check in with your team: Red-Yellow-Green
I’ve mentioned in previous posts how much I love ConvertKit as a company and their email system I use. You can learn more about ConvertKit on my software tool resource page.
My respect for the culture of their company was reinforced by a podcast series with their CEO and founder, Nathan Barry, and their CFO, Barret Brooks.
As I listened to their conversations, I learned about the Red-Yellow-Green technique they use to check in with their team. And, I heard them apply it in each episode.
You can hear them describe the process in this video recording of their first podcast episode.
Nathan and Barrett created the “Future Belongs to Creators” podcast as a way to help their audience during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020.
Click here to listen on Apple Podcasts or here for Spotify.
But, as the leaders at ConvertKit, they were using the Red-Yellow-Green tool long before a crisis of this magnitude hit and they started this podcast.
The lesson we can learn from Nathan and Barrett is clear.
Whether we’re leading through times of major uncertainty and turmoil or dealing with less severe stress and pressures, the Red-Yellow-Green is method is useful.
And, the more we practice it, the more comfortable we will be using it in a variety of settings.
How to use the Red-Yellow-Green method
As Nathan described in the video, the ConvertKit team kicks off meetings by asking each person a simple question.
How are you doing?
The responses of each person must be either “red”, “yellow”, or “green”.
Pretty easy, right?
This technique is easy to use in situations besides team meetings. Like a conversation between two people as they are being recorded for a podcast series for instance.
The team members aren’t pressured to share details, but the responses people give will necessarily take the discussion to a deeper level and build intimacy and trust between members of the team.
Examples of Red-Yellow-Green
For those of you who don’t have time to watch the video, let me paraphrase Nathan’s examples of Red, Yellow, and Green responses.
Green
I’m here. I’m excited. 100% present.
Can’t wait to dive into what we’re doing today.
Yellow
I’ve got some things going on in my personal life. It just wasn’t a good morning with the kids. And, I’m feeling anxious at the moment.
But it’s great to be here. I’m just a bit distracted right now.
Red
I don’t really want to talk about it, but there are some heavy things on my mind.
Thanks for understanding if I don’t seem like my normal self today.
An in-depth look at the Red-Yellow-Green method
Nathan Barry mentioned they learned this method from their friends at the coaching company Reboot.
In this article titled “Murmuration”, Ali Schultz of Reboot describes the Red-Yellow-Green method as a mindfulness practice and gives more details on the science behind the process.
Here is an excerpt from the article to help you learn more about this powerful technique.
Naming your inner state
The beauty of naming your inner state is that you don’t have to do anything with it. You just have to name it, account for it, and include it in your experience (versus pushing the feelings away).
One of the mindfulness practices to help with this that we use at the opening check in for our meetings, bootcamps, and circles is something we call Red-Yellow-Green. Gleaned from a former colleague and based on Steven Porges’ Polyvagal Theory, we use Red-Yellow-Green to give us a simple framework and common language. It works like this:
Two minute check-in exercise
Each group member has about two minutes to do a quick check-in on how they are doing–Red, Yellow, or Green — and how they’re entering the meeting. People may choose to share a bit more about what’s behind their color choice, or perhaps a brief update about their life, work, or their learning goal for the session. But long processing of these responses is not necessary and by all means not required. (Reboot alum Bart Lorang wrote about using this at his office, here.)
Red-Yellow-Green inner-state color markers
The basic rubric for these inner-state color markers is as follows:
Green means you feel safe, copasetic, or perhaps are in flow. You’re able to have eye-contact, creativity, play, humor. In a sense, all systems are go.
Yellow is reactionary, meaning that the fight or flight impulse is present, as is perhaps some defensiveness.
Red means your rational brain is offline, nervous system is shutting down such that you may or may not be present at all, or there may be a loss of trust.
What are some triggers that send you into the red (They can be general, such as “conflict,” or very specific)? What does your body feel like when you are in the yellow? What are the signals and/or signs? What should others know about you when you are in the yellow or red? How can they help? What makes things worse? What type of contact do you need/not need?
Impact of emotions
The sea change of emotions that can grace our bodies on any given day, or moment to moment, can be subtle or extreme. What we do with these emotions can give us insight and information, and help us work better and connect with the other humans in our sphere.
Shifting the tone
The Red-Yellow-Green model shifts the tone of how you relate to folks and hold meetings such as 1-1’s and offsites. Being able to name your own inner state, or hear yourself name where you are, in a group check in can have remarkable effects on how present you can be for yourself and others in the meeting. Listening to where others are in their inner states not only helps our nervous systems relax, it fosters a much greater sense of connection among the humans in the room (or virtual room).
As this excerpt explains, the Red-Yellow-Green method may be simple, but there is serious science backing up the power it holds for you and your team.
A personal story of applying Red-Yellow-Green
I was motivated to write this post and share this method with you by a recent personal experience.
During many of my dog-walking, podcast-listening excursions, I had been hearing Nathan and Barrett talk to each other about how their lives were going in terms of Red, Yellow, and Green. Just by listening to their conversations, this technique was being added to my leadership toolkit. Even if I didn’t realize it.
Without any planning, during a video call with a colleague and friend, I wanted to take our conversation a bit deeper and check in with her.
So, I stumbled through my best application of the Red-Yellow-Green and asked her how she was doing.
Despite the fact I had never used this technique before, it led to a response I was not expecting.
My friend shared that she was having a terrible day and was struggling to even be mentally present to do her work all week.
Her family had just experienced a devastating loss and she was grieving.
It was obvious her inner-state was red. And, for good reason.
Knowing my coworker was going through this level of sadness and still showing up was an encouragement to me. And, it was an opportunity to pray for her and continue to check in with her more frequently.
Was the Red-Yellow-Green an established routine in our one-on-one calls?
No.
Did I know the science behind the method?
No.
Was I good at explaining what I meant by Red, Yellow, and Green and why I was asking the question that way?
Not at all.
Did I encourage and support my friend and teammate that day using this easy technique?
I believe I did. And, I know she did the same for me.
And that’s the main reason I am sharing this tool with you.
Check in with your teams. It makes a difference.
This one incident reminded me of the power we each have to make a difference in someone’s life by simply checking in with them.
We don’t have to use some fancy technique. The Red-Yellow-Green method is simple and will get the conversation started.
And, as I demonstrated, we don’t have to get it exactly right.
Our teammates, and people in general, are longing to know that someone cares about them.
The simple act of hearing someone make an effort to ask us if we are doing okay has a positive impact. The Red-Yellow-Green technique makes it more natural for the person to reply in a meaningful way.
The person we ask may not share any information with us. I encourage you to not interpret that response, or lack of response, as an indication of failure. You’ve taken a step to connect with them. To build a deeper relationship with your teammate. That action alone carries with it a degree of success.
And, don’t just check on your team once.
Check in with your team again and again
Persist and check in with your team again and again when it’s appropriate.
The second time you ask if they are red, yellow, or green, they may be ready to share and trust you with more details about what they’re going through and how you can help. Or maybe the third. Or the seventh.
And remember, you don’t have to be perfect in using this technique.
In fact, your imperfection may be the very thing that communicates to your teammate that you sincerely care about them.
I encourage you to be intentional this week to ask someone if they red, yellow, or green.
Who knows. You may change them from a yellow to a green just by asking.
Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.
Greg
Discussion Questions
- What techniques do you use to check in with your team?
- How might you integrate the Red-Yellow-Green method in your organization?
There are many ways to stay connected with our teammates. I would appreciate learning the tips and tricks you use with your teams for effective check-ins. Please share your experience and wisdom in the comments section so we can learn together.
