In my last post, “How To Be More Confident By Assuming You’re Wrong“, I introduced seven ways assuming you’re wrong will make you more confident.
If you didn’t read that post, the concept of being more confident when you’re not sure you’re right may surprise you. To make sure we’re aligned in our thinking, I encourage you to take a moment to jump over to that post to get the concept. Then, be sure to head back here.
Because, once you’ve read my previous post, you’ll probably be thinking I didn’t offer much practical application of the mindset I wrote about.
And, you’re correct.
My goal with my online platform is to create content that is relevant and useful. It needs to be practical and immediately applicable in real life. With my previous post, I didn’t get as deep into each of these seven techniques as I wanted to.
So, in this post, I’m returning to the topic of being more confident by assuming you’re wrong. And, this time, we’ll focus on application.
A quick refresher on the concept of being wrong
In case you don’t have time to read my previous post, here’s a very quick summary.
We are all wrong at some level all the time. And, admitting we don’t know everything empowers us to be more confident as leaders.
That’s pretty much it.
These are the seven ways assuming you’re wrong will make you more confident.
We’ll cover each of these in more detail in this post.
We’ll start with a technique that is especially powerful if you already have good reason to be confident.
1. Invites input from others.
Assuming you’re wrong, invites input from others.
You’re a leader and you’ve got great ideas. Answers to problems. Advice to give.
That’s your job as a leader, right? And, having solutions to problems gives you confidence.
So, how can assuming you’re wrong bring even more confidence?
By giving your teammates more freedom to share their input.
A leader’s input can stifle input from others
Because you’re a leader, and possibly the leader in a formal position of authority, your opinion has power. And, when you’re consistently right and have ideas that work, the influence of your input grows.
As a result, when you make a recommendation, your teammates defer to you.
And, that’s a problem.
I’m sure you have a talented team with good ideas. Ideas that will make you even more confident in them and yourself.
So, how do you engage them and invite their input? By diminishing the power of what you say.
Admit you might be wrong to better engage your teammates
In his outstanding book, “The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious, & Change the Way You Lead Forever.”, Michael Bungay Stanier describes the benefit of diminishing the advice you give.
It’s one of the techniques he recommends to stay curious a little bit longer and “tame your Advice Monster.”
Diminish the power of your own advice
Stanier suggests pausing before you offer advice to your team. Then, when you do share your idea, try using wording that acknowledges that you may be wrong and aren’t completely convinced your way is the right and only way to proceed.
He provides several example phrases in the book and I’ve added a few of my own that I’ve found work well.
Engage your teammates by using these phrases to start your comments
- I may be wrong here..
- I’m not sure if this will work / is useful / might be an option…
- Here’s my best guess…
- This is just one idea / option / thought…
- This may be completely off-base…
- You know more about this than I do…
- I haven’t thought about this as much as you have…
When you admit you might be wrong in the words you use to share your input, others feel the freedom to speak up.
Your team can help you be more confident if you’re willing to admit you’re wrong and listen to what they have to say.
Let’s move now to the second way to be more confident by assuming you’re wrong. Think like a scientist and start experimenting.
2. Stimulates experimentation.
Assuming you’re wrong, stimulates experimentation.
Okay, I know what you’re thinking.
Insert bald joke here
I belong on this podcast episode with Daniel Tardy and Adam Grant, right?
If you don’t know what I mean, then you’ve obviously never met me in person or seen my picture. But, scroll down to the bottom of the page, and you’ll know why I would fit right in with these two.
Let’s just say those headphones won’t mess up my hair either.
But, being follicly challenged isn’t the only thing I have in common with these two leadership experts.
They also believe being wrong is natural for leaders and will help you be more confident.
In fact, being wrong should be as normal for a leader as it is for a scientist.
Be wrong like a scientist
Adam Grant, organizational psychologist and bestselling author, describes the benefit of thinking like a scientist. He and Daniel Tardy discuss this topic at length in the video above.
He also describes the idea of how leaders should be more like scientists with this graphic he shared in this LinkedIn post.
Scientists know the experiments they design and perform aren’t guaranteed to be successful. Their hypothesis may be wrong and must be proven. They gather data and analyze it.
Scientiests expect to be wrong most of the time.
Does starting with the assumption they might be wrong make them less confident?
Of course not. It’s understood that scientists might be wrong. That’s part of their job.
The same is true for leaders.
Assuming you might be wrong as a leader is part of your job too.
Therefore, you can be more confident when you embrace being wrong as natural and beneficial when leading your team.
Another important part of your job as a leader is to identify and manage risks.
3. Prompts risk management.
Assuming you’re wrong, prompts risk management.
If you are always 100% right about everything that is going to happen in the future, then risk management isn’t something you need to be concerned about as a leader.
But, for the rest of us, knowing we might be wrong causes us to plan for potential failures.
My teams and I often use a technique called a pre-mortem. It’s a powerful way to envision what might go wrong before you start a project or task and then take the actions required to avoid or be better prepared for potential pitfalls.
This 90 second video explains the pre-mortem technique better than I can write about it.
The pre-mortem can help you be more confident in any project you’re leading. But, you can’t do the exercise if you don’t assume you are wrong in some way about what needs to be done.
If you know you’re right and are absolutely convinced you will flawlessly execute the project with perfection, you won’t be able to imagine the work ending in a “disaster, total failure” as the video describes.
Only be admitting you might be wrong, can you identify risks and prepare your team to manage them.
Once again, this admission you might be wrong should make you more confident with each potential risk you identify and plan for.
Being wrong serves you well when you are about to launch a project. And, it helps you even before the work to be done is organized into a formal project.
Admitting you might be wrong helps generate ideas too.
4. Sparks creativity.
Assuming you’re wrong, sparks creativity.
In my post, Unlock Your Team’s Creativity With “How Might We” Questions, I describe how the phrase, “How might we…” has been widely used for decades by organizations seeking to innovate.
As a leader, when you ask a question, especially one starting with “How might we”, you are admitting you are wrong.
Of course, you have ideas you could share, but you recognize your idea might not be the best one.
You want to know what your teammates think would be a good approach. And, you want to create an environment in which every member of the group openly shares their unique perspective. This collaborative interaction stimulates creativity with new ideas being built on those shared by others.
Being open to hear from those on your team because you believe a solution even better than yours is out there waiting to be discovered is what leaders of innovative teams do.
By admitting your idea isn’t perfect and you might be wrong, you are following the tested and proven technique used by highly successful businesses with leaders who ask “How might we…”
Applying this form of being wrong puts you in the a group of innovators who have gone before you and produced amazing creations.
This perspective can allow you to be more confident by knowing that being wrong will unlock the creativity in your team.
5. Weakens the power of perfectionism.
Assuming you’re wrong, weakens the power of perfectionism.
Perfectionism assumes you must be exactly right. The pressure to be flawless can cripple leaders and teams.
In my previous post and an earlier post, You Don’t Have To Be Perfect To Be Ideal, I described how I am a recovering perfectionist. I want to get things right and have the correct and accurate perspective all the time.
It’s a foolish aspiration I know because the pressure to be perfect makes me less, not more, effective as a leader.
Perfectionism negatively affects me as a leader in many ways including my ability to quickly make a commitment.
Over-analyzing a situation and taking too long to make a commitment is something I do way too often.
Being wrong is easier when you’re renting
For example, buying something can be a painful ordeal for me. Just ask my family.
Actually, please don’t. The stories they would tell you would be pretty embarrassing.
I’m much better than I used to be, but I still need to improve.
The truth is I don’t want to buy the wrong thing and be stuck with it. Renting something, however, is much easier for me.
If I’m renting a car for the weekend, I’m much more confident and can quickly make a decision. After all, if I don’t like the car, I just return it. But, buying a car? I can spend months, and even years, over-analyzing a big decision like that.
Renting removes the pressure to be perfect and right with every decision.
I learned through my training at The Kansas Leadership Center to apply the renting approach when considering or presenting ideas.
If you’re not sure if you’re right or wrong with an idea, don’t own it. Rent the idea.
For me using an approach like this weakens the power perfectionism has over me.
I’m not sure about this idea so I’m just going to rent it and try it out.
I don’t own it so I don’t have to defend it.
And, if I don’t like it, I don’t have to keep it.
You don’t have to defend an idea you’re only renting
I can be more confident when sharing my thoughts with my teammates when I don’t claim to own it. I’m not emotionally attached to it. And, I don’t have to defend it.
Others can freely critique the idea I’ve rented because it doesn’t belong to me. I’m just trying it out. I may be right and decide to own it later. Or, I may be completely wrong and decide to have nothing to do with the idea in the future.
Renting an idea can make you more confident more quickly
I’ve used this technique many times to be more confident when putting an idea out for a group to consider. Many times, after hearing the analysis of my teammates, I’ve quickly concluded the ideas was pretty bad. Other times, I’ve become convinced I wanted to move forward with it.
Regardless of the outcome, admitting I was wrong broke my lengthy over-analysis process and made me more confident.
The support of my team when I admitted I might be wrong with the idea I was renting gave me confidence. The relationships with my colleagues helped me be a better leader. And, that brings us to our next way being wrong will make us more confident.
6. Builds relationship.
Assuming you’re wrong, builds relationship.
Do you know someone who always has to be right? A know-it-all who always has the answer they think you need to hear.
Or, maybe you have people in your life who aren’t like that, but they seem to always “have it all together”. Their life seems to go perfectly because they are making all the right decisions.
Do you like being around those people?
If I’m honest, I will admit I really don’t.
It’s probably my problem, but I always feel a bit inferior when I have conversations with people like I’ve described.
Because I know my life is not “all together”. And, I often don’t know the right answers to life’s hard questions.
So, when I meet a person who readily admits they don’t have all the answers and are seeking to learn instead of show how right they are, I feel less intimidated (and annoyed if I’m, once again, being honest.)
I am drawn to people who are willing to admit they might be wrong. And, I suspect this may be true for you and many others as well.
Being wrong and admitting it to others is attractive and builds deeper and more meaningful relationships.
If we remember how we feel when others are vulnerable with us and share their imperfections, we can be more confident by admitting our own weaknesses and flaws.
Of course, that is easier with the people we trust and agree with, but what about those who hold different opinions?
In this last way to be more confident by admitting we’re wrong, I’ll give you an example of a leader who has demonstrated this even when it’s brought him significant criticism.
7. Promotes civil dialogue.
Assuming you’re wrong, promotes civil dialogue.
There may be no other place where admitting you’re wrong as a leader is more rarely seen than in the political arena.
Sadly, pointing out how the opposing party is entirely wrong and yours is completely right is the commonly accepted practice for political leaders.
But, there are examples of public servants who engage in productive, civil dialogue and get results across the aisle by admitting they may be wrong.
Bill Haslam is an encouraging example of this.
Being wrong in the public spotlight
Bill Haslam served as the mayor of Knoxville and then as the 49th governor of Tennessee from 2011 to 2019. He is a Republican but is widely known for his ability to work effectively with Democratic leaders as well. He even made a former opponent a member of his staff.
This article, Former Governors Phil Bredesen and Bill Haslam Give Their Thoughts On Bipartisanship and Effective Leadership, describes an event at Vanderbilt University in which Governor Haslam gave his description of great leadership.
Great leadership is finding a problem and working to discover the most effective solution, regardless of what one’s own answer is.
Governor Bill Haslam
Openly admitting your position may have gaps or flaws creates an environment for open, productive discussions even with those who hold an opposing view.
If you’re interested in learning more about Governor Haslam and his views, check out this podcast.
The transcript of the podcast includes a story I’ve heard Governor Haslam share a few times.
The other fella might be right
This is a long read, but I wanted you to have the context of this quote from Howard Backer.
For me, Governor Haslam’s Christian faith and worldview explain why he chooses to embrace being wrong and is more confident as a leader as a result.
Bill: I did. You know, my political mentor was a guy named Howard Baker, who, if you’ve been around Tennessee for a long time, you know that name, but Baker was actually the first Republican elected to the US Senate. We think of Tennessee as such a Republican state, but it wasn’t forever. When he was elected, he was the first Republican in like, I don’t know, 60 years or so. I can’t remember the period, but a long time. Baker went on to become the majority leader of the United States Senate, chief of staff to Reagan, US ambassador to Japan, but he had a saying, and Baker was from a little mountain town, just North of Knoxville, called Huntsville up in Scott County. And he said, “always remember, the other fella might be right.” And it’s a good lesson to learn in politics, particularly today, and maybe even, particularly for those of us who are Christian believers, is to remember the other fella might be right, because we know, given our own brokenness, we can be wrong.
Lee: You know, I came across years ago reading Woodrow Wilson, and Woodrow Wilson had many, many things about which I would strongly disagree, but one of the things I really liked about him very much was that he used… I remember reading that he said, “if somewhere deep back in the back of your mind, you don’t know that you might be wrong, then you’re an idiot” or something like that.
And I always thought, that’s a very helpful thing to carry about with us.
Bill: That is true. I mean, again, I think particularly for, like I said, those of us who are believers, we should know of all people that we could be wrong. I mean, that’s kind of fundamentally what we believe. Like, yeah, that’s part of being, you know, a fallen, broken person, so we should start there.
I am encouraged and inspired by Governor Haslam’s position and his example.
Knowing that he served successfully at the highest level in the Tennessee government while readily admitting he was wrong makes me more confident.
His example helps me be more willing to admit those with whom I disagree may be right. And, I may be wrong.
My opponents may know things I don’t. Things that will help me and the teams I lead be more successful.
And, that is really what these seven ways to be more confident by assuming you’re wrong are all about. Helping our teams be more successful.
Being wrong is the right thing for leaders
These seven techniques are not about us. Admitting our own flaws so we can share them with others is not the goal.
Our purpose as leaders is to serve our teammates and together deliver results. And, being wrong is a key part of leading others well.
As we embrace this approach and use techniques like these seven to practically apply our imperfection, we will see our teams flourish and thrive. They will deliver exceptional results. They will be more confident and so will we.
Being wrong is the right thing to do as we lead others.
Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.
Greg
Discussion Question
- Which of these seven techniques will you try with your team this week?
Please share your experiences in the comments section and let us know how being wrong worked for you and your team.
