One Meeting Minute Thought for Your Week
People ask me how I can write LinkedIn posts about meetings every day and publish this M4 newsletter with tips on how to improve your meetings every week.
Here’s what I tell them.
I’m in meetings every day, every week so I never run out of real-life meeting scenarios to write about.
I live this stuff!
And so do you.
And the story I’m sharing with you is a perfect example.
I’ll tell you what happened to me a while back in my day job.
Then I’ll share a few lessons I learned so you can be prepared if this happens to you (and it probably will, if it hasn’t already).
Here’s the story.
An unexpected call I decided to take
It was just before 2:00 pm and I was standing at my desk (stand up desks are awesome by the way).
Just a few minutes earlier I got a Teams call from one of my direct reports.
I don’t remember the topic, but he needed my input.
So, even though I knew I only had a few minutes before my next meeting, I answered the call – which these days means we were face to face on video.
(Another by the way: video meeting technology is also awesome.)
I was doing my best to quickly help him so I could join my 2:00 pm meeting on time.
We covered what needed to be covered and I wrapped it up.
“Sorry, man. I’ve got to get on my next call. Talk to you soon.”
And we’re done.
It was 1:59.
Success!
At least that’s what I thought.
Not what I was expecting
As I’m pulling up my calendar to join my next meeting, I check the lower right corner of my monitor.
The clock rolls from 1:59 to 2:00.
I’m feeling rushed, but things are good. I’ll dial in right on time.
As I’m getting ready to click the “Join” button, I get another incoming call.
Is it someone else on my team needing my attention?
Nope.
It’s the person who scheduled the 2:00 meeting I’m about to join calling me.
I check the time on my screen again and what does it say?
2:00 pm
So, why was the meeting leader calling me?
Before I tell you what popped in my head, let me ask you this:
Why do you think the meeting leader would be calling you at 2:00 pm for a 2:00 pm meeting?
Here’s what I thought at the time.
You’re late!
My instant reaction was that this person was calling me at 2:00 pm for a 2:00 pm meeting because they thought I was late!
Technically I suppose I was.
But by less than 60 seconds.
Good grief!!!
As I took a deep breath (I didn’t have time for some boxing breathing that I REALLY needed at that moment!), I ignored the incoming call and finished the mouse click I had already started to join the meeting.
Before the clock ticks 2:01 I’m on my 2:00 call.
NOT late in my opinion (even though one could argue that every second of a meeting counts.)
Where my energy went
I immediately saw the six faces of the people who were obviously not somewhere between 0 and 60 seconds tardy – including the meeting leader who tried to call me.
And, do you know where my mental energy went?
Not on the content of the meeting where it should have been. I was too busy trying to manage my emotions and the look on my face.
I didn’t want to ruin the meeting and waste everyone’s time by asking the leader if it was really necessary to call me before 2:01.
By God’s grace, I stayed “above the line” and didn’t let the negative thoughts in my head control my behaviors.
I was shaking a bit and feeling my temperature rising, but I got myself under control.
Eventually, I was able to focus my thoughts fully on the conversation.
As a result we had a productive meeting (even though I had squandered 1/60th of our time together 😀).
My story ended well even though I was tempted to wreck the whole meeting just to prove a point (just being honest with you.)
So what lessons can we learn from my recent real-life meeting experience?
3 lessons from this story
As I reflected on what happened after my initial feelings subsided, I found some lessons to share with you.
I hope the first one is obvious.
1. Give people some time to join your meetings.
Things happen and we all have back-to-back meetings filling our calendars.
It’s reasonable to expect that the people you invite to your meetings might be a minute or two (or even more) late.
You don’t need to chase them down immediately.
And, you actually don’t need to chase them down at all unless their attendance is critical and you must have their input during your meeting.
That should be the exception.
Your coworkers are adults and professionals so trust them to make their own choices in how they invest their time.
2. Always be ready to exercise self-control
I could have let getting a call like I described trigger me.
And I have let my emotions drive my behaviors in situations like this in the past.
Thankfully I didn’t this time and my coworkers and I benefitted as a result.
Demonstrating self-control will never let you down.
Be ready and self-aware so you don’t get caught off guard.
3. Assume positive intent and extend grace
As I looked back, I realized this person may have been acting with good intentions.
Maybe an important conversation had started and they didn’t want me to miss it.
Or perhaps they couldn’t remember if they had invited me and thought the best approach was to simply give me a call to be sure.
Of course, there are other less positive explanations.
Maybe the person is insecure and the only thing they feel they can keep in check is getting people to their meetings on time.
They may have even wanted to make me look bad for some reason.
There’s no way to know their true motive, but we can know this.
The person who called me at 2:00 pm for my 2:00 pm is a human being.
And, they’re doing their best and deserve grace and respect.
I know I wish I could go back and do things over more times than I care to admit.
The reality is we all mess up now and then.
Returning fire when we feel attacked doesn’t end well.
And, it definitely won’t make a meeting more productive and effective.
So do your best to empathize and treat others as you would like to be treated.
More Resources to Help You Build Your Career and Your Business
I used a couple of terms you may not be familiar with:
Box Breathing – Learn more about this powerful technique in this previous M4 Issue:
🔷 M4 040: How To Keep Your Cool During A Meeting (click here)
“Above the Line” – I explain what it means to be above the line or below it in this post:
🔷 Are You Above Or Below The Line? How To Know And What To Do About It. (click here)
And, finally these Golden Guidelines for Exceptional Meetings will help you when you feel yourself tempted to make Rigid Rules for your meetings.
Download a printable copy (click here)
And Now a Word from Our Sponsors
If you need your meeting audio transcribed, click here to follow my affiliate link for Descript and give this powerful AI tool a try.
That’s All for this Issue
Self-control, staying “above the line”, empathy, and extending grace.
These are all traits mature, successful leaders need to develop.
And, meetings give you the chance to practice every one of these and more.
So, the next time a meeting situation pushes your buttons, remember you’re being given the opportunity to improve.
But, please, please, please.
Do NOT call someone who’s less than 60 seconds late for your meeting, just to give them a learning opportunity!
Thanks for letting me share my story this week.
Let’s lead with kindness and confidence!
Greg
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