One Meeting Minute Thought for Your Week
The best possible work relationships?
Wow!
It’s quite a lofty goal I know – an aspirational target.
Even the thought of having BETTER work relationships may stretch your mind.
And to have the best possible work relationships would require a miracle!
Or at least that’s the way it seems to you right now.
But imagine for a moment how much better things would be for you in your job if your work relationships could improve even a little bit.
Think about how much better your meetings would be!
Letting yourself dream big dreams like this isn’t easy for me. And, it may be a struggle for you too.
But, Michael Bungay Stanier helps me do exactly that.
He opens my mind to think bigger than I can on my own. And, he gives me actionable, clear strategies to expand and improve my mindset.
So who is the Michael Bungay Stanier guy anyway?
Who is Michael Bungay Stanier?
Michael’s name probably sounds familiar to you because I reference him often in my content.
He’s probably best known for his book, The Coaching Habit – Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever. It’s the best-selling coaching book of this century.
And, his book, How to Begin – Start Doing Something That Matters is a big reason you’re reading this today. Without it, I may not have continued with my coaching and consulting side business. But that’s a story for another time.
Don’t forget The Advice Trap – Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever. It’s the follow up to The Coaching Habit and it’s just as good – if not better. I prefer the audio version over the paper copy.
All his books are short, funny, and practical.
They’re easy to read and can be life-changing if you dig in and do the work.
Click here to learn more about each of these books.
Michael’s also the founder of the training and development company, Box of Crayons. They help organizations transform from being advice-driven to curiosity-led.
From the titles of his books and the mission of Box of Crayons, you can see the common threads of humility and curiosity running through all Michael does.
This is a big part of what I like about Michael. (His wit and Australian/Canadian accent help too.)
MBS (as he’s known to many) has much more to his story of course. Here’s the link to his website if you’re interested.
So what does all this have to do with how to have the best possible work relationships?
And about creating more productive, effective meetings?
Better work relationships = better work meetings
Every meeting involves people.
And if you’re interacting with people, you have relationships.
So, the better your work relationships are, the better your meetings will be.
This seems like common sense, but it’s not.
What IS common is the tendency to downplay the importance of relationships at work.
People want better meetings, but they don’t want to invest in improving their relationships.
Sometimes they don’t want to do the hard work that’s involved with getting to know coworkers at a deeper level.
People are messy and not every leader is willing to deal with the realities of being human.
That’s not always the case though.
Many leaders know work relationships are important.
And, they truly believe that making improvements will lead not only to better meetings but to increased morale and productivity for the business.
They’re convinced the entire culture of the company will improve when work relationships get better.
But, some motivated leaders with good intentions are frustrated because they just don’t know where to start.
That may describe you.
If it does, Michael Bungay Stanier has solved that problem for you.
With his new book, he shows you how to take the first step toward having work relationships that are safe, vital, and repairable, i.e. our best possible relationships.
Then he guides you through the process with a 5-question framework.
5 questions to help you have your best possible work relationships
As he does in all his books, Michael uses a practical, easy-to-use framework built on simple, yet incredibly powerful questions.
In How to Work with (Almost) Anyone the framework is the Keystone Conversation.
The Keystone Conversation you can have with any coworker to improve your relationship with them is guided by these 5 questions.
✅ The Amplify Question: “What’s your best?”
✅ The Steady Question: “What are your practices and preferences?”
✅ The Good Date Question: “What can you learn from successful past relationships?”
✅ The Bad Date Question: “What can you learn from frustrating past relationships?”
✅ The Repair Question: “How will you fix it when things go wrong?”
Even without reading the book and the deeper explanation of these questions, you can see the power they have to transform your work relationships.
The answers require introspection because in a Keystone Conversation, you’re not just asking questions for your teammate to answer.
You’re sharing your answers too!
Through the process of thinking about your own answers and interacting with your coworker, your relationship will deepen.
You’ll be talking not about the work you’ll DO together, but about HOW you’ll work together.
And, the Keystone Conversation gives you and the other person permission to continue the discussion when things are going well and when they aren’t.
It’s not a “one and done” conversation because that’s not how things work in relationships.
You’ll test and strengthen your work relationship with every interaction.
Of course your meetings you have with that person will be a big part of the relationship building process.
The power of these 5 questions to transform your meetings
Think about how each of these questions can transform your meetings as well as your work relationships.
✅ The Amplify Question: “What’s your best?”
The Amplify Question will enable you to help the other person shine and perform at their very best during your meetings. You’ll be able to position them to be successful.
✅ The Steady Question: “What are your practices and preferences?”
The Steady Question allows you to interact with your meeting participants in a way they like. And, let them know when you’re taking an approach they don’t prefer. You’ll be better equipped to design your meetings to be more productive and effective.
✅ The Good Date Question: “What can you learn from successful past relationships?”
The Good Date Question gives you insight to learn from previous meeting leaders who created positive experiences for your teammate. You’ll want to do what these leaders did.
✅ The Bad Date Question: “What can you learn from frustrating past relationships?”
The Bad Date Question helps you avoid behaviors that caused the other person to have an aversion to meetings that were BAD (and there were likely many of those in their work history!) You’ll know what to watch out for and avoid.
✅ The Repair Question: “How will you fix it when things go wrong?”
The Repair Question is critical because (spoiler alert) all your meetings aren’t going to be perfect. Your behavior during meetings won’t be either. The same is true for your coworker. When damage to your relationship is done, you’ll both know what to do to fix it.
More Resources to Help You Build Your Career and Your Business
The best resource to learn more about this topic is, of course, Michael Bungay Stanier’s book, How to Work with (Almost) Anyone.
You can order it on Michael’s website (click here).
And, as MBS has always done, he also packs the site with free resources to help you even if you don’t buy the book.
You can also listen to Michael chat with some of my favorite podcast hosts about the book.
👉 Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders – How to Start Better With Peers, with Michael Bungay Stanier (click here to listen)
👉 Pat Flynn on the Smart Passive Income podcast – The Secrets to Working with Anyone with Michael Bungay Stanier (click here to listen)
And Now a Word from Our Sponsors
The 6 Types of Working Genius framework is a perfect complement to the Keystone Conversation.
This productivity tool is especially helpful when discussing The Amplify Question: “What’s your best?”
As Michael explains in the book, your “best” isn’t necessarily where you’re most competent. Your “best” type of work is the work that brings you the most joy, energy, and fulfillment – which is exactly what the 6 Type of Working Genius assessment helps you discover about yourself and your team.
If you’d like to learn more about using The 6 Types of Working Genius model to enable you and your team members to answer The Amplify Question, please contact me so we can have a conversation.
That’s All for this Issue
As you can probably tell, I’m a big fan of Michael Bungay Stanier.
His work has positively impacted my life in many ways. Michael is creating content that’s making a difference.
He’s sharing what he’s learned and using skills and talents to make the world a better place.
I hope you’re doing the same because I’m convinced that, just like Michael Bungay Stanier, you have much to offer your coworkers.
Start by having a Keystone Conversation with them to build your best possible work relationships.
I’ll use Michael’s signature sign off to end this email:
“You’re awesome and you’re doing great.”
MBS is right. His words apply to you today.
Let’s lead with kindness and confidence!
Greg
Here are 3 ways I can help you when you’re ready:
- Get more free resources you can use today (Click here to Start)
- Improve on your own with digital courses (Click here to Improve)
- Accelerate your progress with coaching (Click here to Accelerate)
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