CMD 027: How to Actually Help With An Offer To Help

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CMD 026: Why Your Offer To Help Might Actually Hurt Your Team

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The post CMD 026: Why Your Offer To Help Might Actually Hurt Your Team appeared first on Greg Harrod.

Of course, I may be overthinking the analogy. But if I am, I’m going to blame in on my career experience.

Be a thermostat leader not a thermometer leader

If you aren’t familiar with the thermometer versus thermostat leader analogy, here’s a quick summary.

This quote captures the essence of the illustration.

There are two different types of leaders. A person can either be like a thermometer or a thermostat. A thermometer will tell you what the temperature is. A thermostat will not only tell you what the temperature is, but it’ll move you to the temperature you need to get to.

Kevin McCarthy

First, let me say I think this is a useful comparison.

The differences between a thermometer and a thermostat can be used to teach many facets of leadership. I’ll cover some of those shortly.

But, to be honest, every time I hear this illustration, and even when I use it myself when training leaders, I hesitate a bit.

Again, it’s probably due to my background.

I know a thing or two about thermostats

I’ve spent most of my professional life in the HVAC industry. The acronym HVAC stands for Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning. In simple terms, HVAC technology is all about controlling the air temperature and humidity in a home or building with the goal of keeping the occupants comfortable.

One of the main components of an HVAC system is the thermostat.

The thermostat is the device that senses the temperature of the room and controls the rest of the HVAC system to heat or cool the air. Together they keep the temperature of your home right where you want it to be.

Or, if you’re a parent, the thermostat is the thing on the wall you tell your kids (or maybe your spouse) to stay away from. Or, is that just me?

I’m pretty familiar with thermostats since part of my job in previous years was to design them along with the electronic controls in furnaces and air conditioners. It’s a little hard to believe now, but years ago I did actually use my electrical engineering degree.

So, that’s why it’s easy for me to get tripped up with the leadership analogy of a thermostat. Well, that and my tendency to overthink many things, including analogies.

But, in this case, I think my extra analysis (that’s sounds better than overthinking doesn’t it?) and my HVAC experience add value.

A thermostat’s primary function

As I explained earlier the job of the thermostat is to control the other parts of the HVAC system. The air conditioner or heat pump outside your house. The furnace in your attic or basement. The thermostat sends signals telling those devices when to come on and make the air in your home hotter or colder.

But, that’s really not the primary function of a thermostat.

The main job of a thermostat is to keep you comfortable.

And, that’s where I disagree with the statement that a leader should act like a thermostat.

A leader’s job is not to keep people comfortable. A leader’s primary purpose is to mobilize people to deliver results.

Don’t get me wrong, I do agree with the traditional teachings of this illustration. And, I’ll also admit, my disagreement may be a technicality.

Where I agree

I agree that, like a thermostat, a leader must be highly skilled at determining the emotional temperature of the room.

A leader must take the temperature

If you read my blog regularly, you know I highly value the training provided by The Kansas Leadership Center.

One of the four leadership competencies they teach is “Diagnose Situation”. This is the work of observing and understanding a situation from multiple perspectives and at a deeper level.

To do that effectively a leader must be have the ability to “Take the Temperature” of a team or a challenge a team is facing.

This illustration is adapted from the content in the book The Common Good: Participant Handbook.

The comments in this graphic give you some clues to help you determine the emotional temperature of your team or a situation you’re in.

But, this is just a start. Here are even more tips from on how leaders can take the temperature.

These are taken from another outstanding resource from The Kansas Leadership Center, the book Your Leadership Edge: Lead Anytime, Anywhere.

I appreciate these tips and have used them myself many times. So, I wholeheartedly agree with the first comparison of a leader to a thermostat.

An effective leader must develop and continually improve their skill in taking the emotional temperature of their team and each situation.

I also agree with the second comparison of a good leader to a thermostat.

A leader must raise the heat

Once a thermostat leader has taken the temperature of the team or the situation, he or she must also adjust the temperature. And, almost always, the heat needs to be raised.

Sure, there are times when a leader needs to help a team member calm down or dissipate some tension in the room.

But, to make meaningful progress with a team, a leader most often needs to increase the temperature not decrease it.

Why?

It’s human nature to stay comfortable. We don’t like to have our routines changed. Most of us appreciate consistency and knowing what to expect. These all keep the temperature down in the comfort zone.

And, we really don’t like the one thing that tends to raise the heat faster than any thing else.

Conflict.

Conflict and heat go together

The engineer in me really wants to dive into how conflict involves friction and friction produces heat. But, I won’t. I’ll keep it simple.

Conflict and heat go together.

So, when you are leading a team and realize you need to raise the heat to help your team make progress, you need to be ready for some conflict.

Leaders must appreciate conflict

Leaders of successful teams must be ready to encounter and manage conflict. I will go even further and suggest this.

To be the most successful leader you can be, you need to learn to appreciate conflict.

That may sound odd given our natural tendency to avoid and prevent conflict. But, seeing conflict as a good thing is a trait of mature and experienced leaders.

Appreciating conflict is not an easy task I know. But, conflict is inevitable when people are involved.

So, if you want to lead people to deliver results as a team, you need to expect and appreciate conflict.

Conflict is required to deliver results

Organizational health expert and best-selling author, Patrick Lencioni, includes fear of conflict as one of the five pitfalls teams face. He writes about this in his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable.

Lencioni describes the importance of conflict in this short video.

This quote from the video emphasizes the importance of conflict for effective and successful teams.

Conflict is not only okay on a team, or even good. It’s necessary and required. We have to engage in conflict. And, when we have trust, conflict becomes nothing but the passionate pursuit of truth or the best possible answer.

Patrick Lencioni

In The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Lencioni further explains the benefits of conflict for teams who want to deliver results.

He compares teams that fear and avoid conflict with teams that intentionally engage in healthy conflict.

Do the characteristics of teams that fear conflict look familiar?

If they don’t, take another look at the graphic above and the descriptions of teams and situations with temperatures that are too cold or comfortable.

Successful teams need conflict. They need the heat raised by courageous leaders who are willing to be a bit uncomfortable with their teammates to achieve results.

But how can we as leaders raise the heat?

Let’s go back to the training from The Kansas Leadership Center for some practical tips.

How to raise the heat

Here are proven techniques you can use to introduce the right amount of conflict and discomfort, heat in other words, with your team.

These are taken from the chapter titled “Raise the Heat” in the book Your Leadership Edge: Lead Anytime, Anywhere.

Keep an eye of the temperature

These tips are great for raising the heat. But, as you can imagine, each has the potential to make it way too hot.

As we lead, we must continually function as the temperature sensor in the thermostat. We must pay attention to the clues listed earlier to make sure we don’t create an environment that shuts our team down and prevents progress.

We must learn what works best for each team we lead in each unique situation. It’s not easy and we won’t always get it right.

Sometimes, we will have the heat raised on us and we will need to embrace the discomfort just as we ask our teams to do.

As leaders and as teammates we need to be uncomfortable at times.

And, that’s okay. In fact it’s good and required that leaders create discomfort.

But it’s not okay for thermostats.

My disagreement with the thermostat leader model

This brings me back to my disagreement with the statement that a leader must be a thermostat.

If your thermostat causes you to be too hot or too cold, you’re going to be calling an HVAC professional. Your thermostat may need to be replaced. It’s not carrying out it’s primary function of keeping you and the people in your home comfortable.

But, if you as a leader, are taking your team and yourself out of the comfort zone by raising the heat, you are functioning just as you should.

You are challenging your teams to embrace and appreciate conflict.

Your teammates may not be comfortable. And, you likely won’t be either. But you will be helping them to achieve the results they are capable of delivering for your organization.

So be a thermostat leader, but remember your primary function is not to keep your team comfortable. It’s to help them make progress and deliver results.

Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.

Greg

Discussion Questions

• What techniques do you use to raise the heat with your teams?

• What is the typical temperature of your team? Would raising the heat help them deliver better results?

I’m interested to know what you found useful from this post. Please share your thoughts in the comments section so we can learn together.

About the Author – Learn more about Greg

Click here to download the free guide.

How to Write a Professional Email: Make a positive impact with every email you send.

The post Why I Disagree With Being A Thermostat Leader appeared first on Greg Harrod.

The answer for me is “Not as often as I would like”.

If that’s the way you feel too, I’d like to help.

In this post, I share some easy things I do regularly to encourage creators who help me through the things they produce.

And here’s the good news, these techniques don’t take much time at all. Yet they can have a powerful positive impact on the people who do creative work you love.

But, is taking time to encourage the creators who give us all sorts of amazing creations really that important?

Here’s a scenario to think about to help you answer that question for yourself.

But first, let me save you some time

If you don’t have time to read this full post, I understand. Your time is precious.

So, I summarized the message of this post in this graphic.

Now, back to that scenario to help us decide if encouraging creators is worth our time.

Here today. Gone tomorrow.

Has this ever happened to you?

You find a new restaurant and you absolutely love the food. The atmosphere is perfect too. This place is incredible.

So you go a few times. And each experience is amazing.

But, you don’t ever get around to giving them a review on social media. And you forget to tell your friends about this place even though it’s one of your favorites.

It’s one of your favorite restaurants, but you don’t really go there anymore. You want to. But you don’t.

Until one day you remember just how awesome this place is. So you go back.

Only to find them closed for business with a sad sign in the window telling the story.

Tragic, right?

Brick and mortar and online creators need our support

This sad story of your favorite restaurant that didn’t make it, could be replaced with a similar tale of your favorite creator.

The entrepreneur and chef who created those delicacies you enjoyed and dreamed of, but rarely bought. They were creators who needed more support from you and others to stay financially healthy.

And, while all creators don’t earn a living through their creative work, they all need support.

We interact with some creators through their physical stores and businesses. Some are on our teams and we work with them face-to-face or virtually every day. Others are people we know only through internet relationships.

This myriad of creators around us makes our lives better.

It is critically important for us to encourage the creators whose work benefits us by showing them our appreciation.

Thankfully, it’s super easy to get started.

Start with a Creator Appreciation Mindset to encourage creators

In the blog post, “How To Build A Creator Appreciation Mindset With 5 Simple Steps“, l outline five simple steps to build a Creator Appreciation Mindset.

If you read the previous section and thought, “I don’t know any ‘creators’. I don’t work with creative types.”, I encourage you to read that post. I’m confident you have countless creators in your life. And many on your current teams.

To summarize my earlier post, here are the five steps to get you started with the right mindset to appreciate and encourage creators.

5 simple steps to build a Creator Appreciation Mindset

Now that we’re equipped with our Creator Appreciation Mindset, let’s put it to use. Let’s make encouraging creators and showing them appreciation a normal part of our regular activities.

How we communicate appreciation

What makes you feel appreciated and encouraged? It’s different for everyone, but I believe this to be true for every creator.

Knowing your work has been seen and made a positive difference in someone’s life is an encouragement.

If you’ve invested time and energy into creating something, especially something you have created to help others, you are encouraged when you know someone has actually seen it. And, you are even more encouraged when you know someone has received benefit from what you’ve made.

That’s a pretty simple concept. And, it’s the foundation for this easy approach to encourage creators.

8 easy ways to encourage online creators

In this post, I’m going to use online creators as the example. However, we can apply these principles to encourage creators in every area of our lives. I’ll leave it to you and your own creativity to find ways to do that.

1. Consume their creation

This is the easiest way to encourage a creator. We consume what they have created.

Listening to a podcast. Reading a blog post. Watching a video. A creator has made these things and we have benefitted from them.

And, this encourages the creator. But, in a very impersonal and general way.

It assumes the creator is paying attention to metrics like downloads, impressions, and all the other statistics that tell online creators that someone, somewhere is consuming their creation.

Of course, it’s the starting point of encouraging a creator. You have to experience the creation before you know if you like it.

And, online creators are encouraged by positive metrics. So, by all means, keep consuming content from creators you appreciate.

But, while consuming does indirectly inform the creator that their work has been seen, it doesn’t communicate to them that they’ve made a positive difference in your life.

So, if you really want to encourage a creator, don’t stop there.

2. React

This next level action to encourage a creator really couldn’t be easier.

All the social media platforms and websites give us the tools to react to a creation we like with the touch of a thumb. Or, an index finger for old guys like me.

We have an ever increasing set of options to express how a creation makes us feel.

These are good. But, I think we would all admit to hitting the “Like” option after only briefly skimming some online content. We don’t really know what the article says, but the person is our friend and we want to support them.

We’ve done it. All creators have done it.

So, everybody knows the level of encouragement a reaction provides. Some, but not much.

Providing a reaction is good, but we can do better.

3. Make a personal comment

We all know how encouraging it is to receive a personal comment from someone about the work we’ve done.

Whether they are spoken or written. On a computer keyboard or with a pen. Personal comments are encouraging.

We can step up our level of encouragement for online (and in person) creators simply by making even a generic comment more personal.

Even the most basic words of encouragement are strengthened with a simple personal touch.

We can take our encouragement from good to better with something as basic as this.

Good

Nice post.

Better

Nice post, Lana. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

Adding just a few more words and the creator’s name can make a big difference.

Maybe you actually took time to read the article. Maybe you didn’t. But either way, the creator, Lana in this case, knows you saw her create something. She recognizes you appreciate her courageous act to share her thoughts with others.

I have to expect Lana is encouraged.

Are you starting to see the pattern?

Let’s take it up another notch.

4. Make a personal comment with depth

Continuing with the example of Lana’s post on social media.

Let’s assume you did read her full post. And, what Lana had to say helped you.

How encouraged might Lana be with a comment like this?

Even Better

Nice post, Lana. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Your last suggestion on how to support a struggling coworker was especially helpful. I plan to try that with one of my teammates later today. Thank you.

Lana now knows what she’s created may actually help someone, which was the reason she wrote the post in the first place.

In addition to accomplishing her goal of writing, you have now encouraged Lana to continue on to create even more useful content to help even more people.

5. Share the creator’s work

This step doesn’t take much time at all, but it does take a bit of courage.

To encourage an online creator, share their work.

Why does this take courage? Because by sharing, you are to some degree endorsing the creator’s work. You are attaching yourself to the message and communicating your values.

Even by sharing a video you think is funny, you are saying to those in your network that the content created and captured in the video is humorous to you .

Sharing what a creator has made is a powerful technique to encourage a creator.

By doing this you are communicating to them that you appreciate and agree with their creation so much you are willing to personally endorse it.

And, of course, social media platforms give us tools to share the creations of others in seconds.

If you’re following my pattern, and I’m sure you are, you know what I’m going to recommend. Don’t stop with sharing.

Take your encouragement to an even higher level.

6. Share the creator’s work with a personal comment

To boost the encouragement of a creator, add your personal comments describing why you are sharing what you’re sharing. And, tag the creator to ensure they hear the positive things you say about their work.

You can add a lot of input or just a few words. The positive impact to the creator comes because they know you’ve seen their work and have proof (your words) that they have made a positive difference in your life.

And, the impact they have had on you is so great that you want to share it with others.

7. Send a personal message to the creator

As I’ve already described in the previous steps, social media platforms provide powerful tools to enable us to encourage creators.

The internet gives us the ability to communicate directly (or through an assistant) with almost anyone. Including the creators we want to encourage.

Did you read a book you found helpful? You can likely find the author’s website with a way to send them a note there.

No way to contact them through their website?

Then, you can probably send them a direct message on Twitter.

Not on Twitter? Try LinkedIn.

Still no luck finding a way to send the creator a personal note of encouragement?

Leave them a review on Amazon. They will likely read it, especially if it’s positive and they are just getting started. Or a member of their staff will share it with them.

We all know how rare and precious positive comments can be compared to the constant flow of negative feedback.

By taking the time to send a positive note of encouragement to a creator, you will encourage them and give them the support they need to endure the onslaught of negative comments they are likely receiving.

8. Send a detailed personal message to the creator

I’m sure you guessed this one already.

When you send a personal note, make it detailed and meaningful.

The more thoughtful and specific the praise, the more encouraging it will be.

The same is true for critical comments. Creators are often encouraged even by negative feedback if it’s based on sound reasoning. To know someone examined your work enough to develop a contrary view, is an encouragement for serious creators committed to their work.

Get started and do what you can

You may be thinking to yourself that this all sounds great, but it is going to take a lot of time.

But, it doesn’t have to. Some of these techniques take more thought, effort, and time than others. But, they can all have a positive impact on the creators you want to encourage. You can decide how much time you have to invest and choose what works best for you.

The key is to just get started.

Here’s what I suggest.

Put these techniques into practice today – 10 minutes or less

Remember Step 3 of the 5 simple steps to build a Creator Appreciation Mindset earlier. Step 3 is “Record creations as you encounter them”.

If you’ve been doing this and the other four steps, you’ve identified at least a few creations that have impacted your life recently. And, you know the creators of those works.

So why not encourage them?

You’ve already consumed what they’ve created. Let them know that.

Pick just one of the techniques above and try it out. If you only have time to react to a social media post, do that. Are you available and ready to send a personal note of encouragement this afternoon? Go for it.

Limit yourself to investing 10 minutes to encourage a creator today and see what you can do.

My experience

In my experience, it’s easier than you think. And, it might be just as encouraging to you as it is to the creator you are seeking to encourage. Maybe even more.

I’ve been working to improve in this area. I’ve reached out to many creators and continue to do so. I have found the time to be a worthwhile investment. I trust I have encouraged some of the creators I admire. But I know I have been encouraged personally through the process.

I encourage you to give it a try and see if the same is true for you.

Creating and encouraging creators is personal

As I wrap up this post, I’d like you to notice how many times I used the word “personal” in explaining how to encourage creators.

That was intentional because the act of creating is personal.

Creators are sharing part of themselves when they share their work. This takes courage and vulnerability.

And, I’m not just talking about the musician on stage performing for their fans.

When someone shares their thoughts in a social media post or a blog article or even in an email, that person is creating and revealing something about who they are to their audience.

The act of creating and sharing our creations, regardless of the form, is deeply personal whether we realize it or not.

That’s why the most meaningful encouragement for creators is input that is personal. Authentic words from real people who benefit from their work.

By providing feedback that includes our own views and opinions, we are sharing part of ourselves with the other person. We are being vulnerable and courageous and demonstrating a level of trust of the creator we are seeking to encourage.

Creators get that. They understand because we are speaking their language.

We are sharing a common bond of “putting ourselves out there” to help someone else. To positively impact the life of someone else.

In fact, in providing our feedback to creators we are ourselves creating.

We are further demonstrating the reality that creators are all around us. And, in fact, we are revealing that we are creators ourselves. Simply by taking these simple steps to encourage other creators.

So, with this in mind, let’s continue to create and encourage the many creators in our lives.

A final note – Creators are worth investing in

I started this post, by comparing the support of creators with that of local businesses striving to keep their doors open. Whether the creators you want to encourage are in your local communities running businesses to feed themselves and their families or doing the same with their online platforms, they need our support.

If you have the means and opportunity to invest not just your words of encouragement but also your dollars with them, I encourage you to do so.

Most creators don’t do what they do for the money. But, all creators have expenses.

Help them, if you can, continue to do what they do so you and others can keep benefitting from their creations.

Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.

Greg

Discussion Questions

• If you are a creator, what encourages you the most?

• Which techniques will you try to encourage the creators you admire and appreciate?

I’m interested to know how you put this into practice in your life. Please share your experiences in the comments section so we can learn together.

About the Author – Learn more about Greg

Click here to download the free guide.

How to Write a Professional Email: Make a positive impact with every email you send.

The post 8 Easy Ways To Encourage The Creators You Appreciate appeared first on Greg Harrod.

But, this can seem like a daunting task. I know how it feels to have a team that has lost confidence and is a bit shaken. It’s hard to know where to start.

Thankfully, I learned how to help my team be strong by asking them some simple yet very clever questions.

I learned this technique from one of the best question-askers around. You’ve likely heard of him. But if you haven’t, let me have the privilege of introducing you.

An expert on asking questions – Michael Bungay Stanier

Michael Bungay Stanier is an expert at asking thoughtful questions.

His book, “The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More, & Change the Way You Lead Forever”, contains a set of seven transformative questions coaches and leaders around the globe use every day. In fact, it is the best-selling book on coaching this century.

Michael also founded a training and development company, Box of Crayons, that has taught coaching skills to hundreds of thousands of people around the world. Box of Crayons helps organizations move from “advice-driven to curiosity-led”.

And, being curious means asking good questions.

So during the COVID-19 pandemic of 2020, Michael started a podcast called “We Will Get Through This” to help his listeners stay strong and be resilient during difficult circumstances.

This is an exceptional podcast I highly recommend.

I found one particular episode particularly valuable because it was packed with information on leading well during difficult circumstances. A situation many of us are familiar with.

A podcast episode to help you and your team be strong during crisis

Before I dig into the seven questions, I can’t stress enough how impressed I was with this episode. The full 30 minutes is filled with wisdom and practical advice.

It is a must-listen for any leader who is in the middle of or preparing their team for difficult and unsettling times. Or, in other words, every leader.

If you want to help your team be strong during times of crisis and change, listen to this episode.

Click any of these links to listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, tunein, or Google Podcasts.

The episode is based on the Harvard Business Revenue article, How To Answer An Unanswerable Question which is another outstanding resource.

6 tips for dealing with difficult questions during times of uncertainty

In the article and in the conversation with Michael, Ron Carucci, gives these six tips for leaders to help their team be strong and resilient during a crisis.

Ron is co-founder and managing partner at Navalent and speaks from a wealth of experience.

1. Acknowledge your own anxiety
2. Listen for the need underneath the question
3. Ask questions that help others find strength
4. Don’t interpret questions as critique
5. Practice your tone and physical delivery ahead of time
6. If you blow it, recover quickly

All of these tips are highly valuable and I encourage you to study the article. But, tip number 3 impacted me the most.

The insightful questions Ron provided to help my team stay strong caught my attention. They stuck with me.

And, Michael added another question that was equally powerful.

4 questions that help others find strength

As Ron writes in his article, great leaders empower their teammates by helping them discover their own strength.

Leaders can do this when confronted with anxiety-driven inquiries by asking questions that draw out people’s deeper concerns.

From the article, these four questions help team members discover the answers they have but are hidden below their own fears.

• When you sense someone is having trouble adapting, ask, “What’s something you’ve learned during this crisis you would have never expected?” This can help them recognize they are more capable than they think.
• If someone is struggling to see past the current challenges, ask, “What’s one thing you hope remains after this crisis?” This will allow them to acknowledge that they’ve discovered things they actually might enjoy — like the perks of remote work and extra family time.
• To help others discover their resilience and combat anxiety, questions like, “What’s the worst thing you could imagine happening from all of this?” can help people sort through real vs. irrational concerns.
• Asking, “What’s one of the worst things you’ve ever overcome or endured?” helps people tap into sources of hope and fortitude from their own stories.

2 more powerful questions to help your team be strong

In the podcast episode (at 18:25), Michael adds two more powerful question for leaders to use to help their team be strong when coping with a difficult situation.

Here’s question 1.

On scale from 1 to 10, how do you think you are doing in dealing with this difficult situation?

Pretty simple, right? No magic there.

Question 2 is the clever bit.

Why didn’t you give yourself a lower number?

As Michael points out, this approach causes the person to consider the positive attributes in themselves that caused them to pick this number. Even if your teammate answers with a 2, they can point to something that’s caused them to not be a 1.

The question opens up a “self-awareness of the person’s capabilities, competence, and confidence.” as Michael notes.

Whereas, asking them what it might take for them to get to a higher number might trigger negative thoughts of judgment and feelings of inadequacy.

Michael credits Dr Michael Pantalon at Yale for this question. You can learn more from him in his book “Instant Influence – How To Get Anyone To Do Anything Fast”.

A helpful alternative is one more thoughtful question. And, you can use this one if your team member picks a “1”.

1 last thoughtful question

Instead of discouraging your teammate by asking them why they didn’t pick a higher number, try this better question.

“What needs to be true for you to have selected a higher number?”

This question drives thoughts of practical actions that would have to be taken and grounds the conversation in reality while displacing often irrational speculations.

Positive, forward-thinking discussions will occur and stimulate progress as well as self-confidence in your team members.

You will not only be encouraging them during a time of crisis, you will also be helping them continue to deliver results during periods of uncertainty and fear.

Applying this to the Red-Yellow-Green method

If you’ve read my post, “An Easy Way To Check In With Your Team“, you learned the Red-Yellow-Green method to start a conversation to better understand how your teammates are really doing.

An easy way to further the discussion after asking

How are you doing?

And getting the response of “yellow” or “green” would be to ask,

Why didn’t you pick “red”?

This question will likely cause the person to realize they have many things going well in their situation. And, the inquiry will likely stimulate thoughts of areas they can and have influenced the outcome.

They will become empowered and encouraged as they become more aware of the strength they possess to positively impact their circumstances.

But what if they pick “red”?

Easy.

Simply ask them this.

What would need to be true for you to pick “yellow” or even “green”?

As described above, these questions might transform your check-in conversation to a positive and encouraging planning session for the future.

This connection between how we ask a question and the mindset of the person we’re talking with is a reminder that caring for our teammates can lead to higher performance and sustained results. Even during the most challenging circumstances.

Great questions lead to great results

As I listen to and learn from experienced experts the incredible power of asking thoughtful questions continues to amaze me.

These seven questions from Ron Carucci and Michael Bungay Stanier are outstanding examples.

By asking these simple questions we can help our teams be strong and resilient even during the most challenging times.

And, best of all, our team members will get the strength they need not from us but from themselves. As they ponder the answers to the questions we ask, they will realize the power they already have even when it is hidden under the feelings of fear and uncertainty they are experiencing.

What more could we ask for in our quest to be kind and confident leaders?

Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.

Greg

Discussion Questions

• What questions have you found to be the most useful when leading your team through difficult circumstances?

• How did your team react when you asked them these questions? Were the resulting discussions beneficial to you and them?

I’m interested to know how you put these questions into practice with your team. Please share your experiences in the comments section so we can learn together.

About the Author – Learn more about Greg

Click here to download the free guide.

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But, how can you do that without sounding awkward and pushy? Or, even worse, getting a superficial reply that doesn’t help your teammate at all.

It’s easier than you think.

Get started by trying this easy technique to check in with your team.

Who is on your team?

To start, let me remind you of my favorite definition of “team”.

I introduced this definition in the post “How Many Teams are You on? More than You Think.“

A number of persons associated together in work or activity

Merriam-Webster.com

Based on this definition, your teammate could be one of a group of 200 people you lead in a large corporation. Or, your team could be just you and your teenage son or daughter.

In the same post I also made this statement.

If you’re on a team, you can make a difference to your teammates. Even if you only have one other person on that team. They matter. They are important and so are you. You both have important roles to fill.

One of those roles is to check in with your team. To make sure they are doing okay.

But, we’ve all tried that haven’t we?

And, here’s how it typically goes.

How a check in with your team normally goes

A typical attempt to check in with someone on your team might go something like this. I’ll use a personal example.

If any of you guessed my personal example as a typical conversation with one of my teenage sons, you nailed it.

Our attempts to check in with our team in a more professional setting may have more formality and a higher word count. But, in my experience, our dialogues often have a similar lack of depth.

It’s frustrating isn’t it?

Whether we’re leading as a parent, a coach, a manager, or a business owner, we want to connect with the people on our teams.

We want to check in with our teams and make sure they really are doing okay. And, if they’re not, we want to know that too.

Great leaders want to know how their teammates are really doing

As a leader in a position of authority or as a teammate leading through influence without a formal leadership role, we want to create an environment in which people don’t have to pretend things are always “okay”.

We want to build relationships and create a culture that allows people the freedom to have bad days as they manage the difficulties of life.

Everyone has to maneuver through the obstacles that come with being human.

If we aren’t having a day or a week or a month, shoot even a year, that makes us feel less than “okay” more often than not, we just need to wait.

We will all take our turn struggling through a difficult season at some point.

The team environment that helps us weather our storms is one of safety and trust. We need a culture that encourages transparency and vulnerability to thrive and flourish even when we feel like we’re just fighting to survive.

In an organization like this, when you reach out to check in with your team, the conversations go much deeper than a single word reply.

Building a culture where deeper, more honest and intimate check-ins are normal takes time and effort. But, it’s easy to get started using this easy technique.

A better way to check in with your team: Red-Yellow-Green

I’ve mentioned in previous posts how much I love ConvertKit as a company and their email system I use. You can learn more about ConvertKit on my software tool resource page.

My respect for the culture of their company was reinforced by a podcast series with their CEO and founder, Nathan Barry, and their CFO, Barret Brooks.

As I listened to their conversations, I learned about the Red-Yellow-Green technique they use to check in with their team. And, I heard them apply it in each episode.

You can hear them describe the process in this video recording of their first podcast episode.

Nathan and Barrett created the “Future Belongs to Creators” podcast as a way to help their audience during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020.

Click here to listen on Apple Podcasts or here for Spotify.

But, as the leaders at ConvertKit, they were using the Red-Yellow-Green tool long before a crisis of this magnitude hit and they started this podcast.

The lesson we can learn from Nathan and Barrett is clear.

Whether we’re leading through times of major uncertainty and turmoil or dealing with less severe stress and pressures, the Red-Yellow-Green is method is useful.

And, the more we practice it, the more comfortable we will be using it in a variety of settings.

How to use the Red-Yellow-Green method

As Nathan described in the video, the ConvertKit team kicks off meetings by asking each person a simple question.

How are you doing?

The responses of each person must be either “red”, “yellow”, or “green”.

Pretty easy, right?

This technique is easy to use in situations besides team meetings. Like a conversation between two people as they are being recorded for a podcast series for instance.

The team members aren’t pressured to share details, but the responses people give will necessarily take the discussion to a deeper level and build intimacy and trust between members of the team.

Examples of Red-Yellow-Green

For those of you who don’t have time to watch the video, let me paraphrase Nathan’s examples of Red, Yellow, and Green responses.

Green

I’m here. I’m excited. 100% present.

Can’t wait to dive into what we’re doing today.

Yellow

I’ve got some things going on in my personal life. It just wasn’t a good morning with the kids. And, I’m feeling anxious at the moment.

But it’s great to be here. I’m just a bit distracted right now.

Red

I don’t really want to talk about it, but there are some heavy things on my mind.

Thanks for understanding if I don’t seem like my normal self today.

An in-depth look at the Red-Yellow-Green method

Nathan Barry mentioned they learned this method from their friends at the coaching company Reboot.

In this article titled “Murmuration”, Ali Schultz of Reboot describes the Red-Yellow-Green method as a mindfulness practice and gives more details on the science behind the process.

Here is an excerpt from the article to help you learn more about this powerful technique.

As this excerpt explains, the Red-Yellow-Green method may be simple, but there is serious science backing up the power it holds for you and your team.

A personal story of applying Red-Yellow-Green

I was motivated to write this post and share this method with you by a recent personal experience.

During many of my dog-walking, podcast-listening excursions, I had been hearing Nathan and Barrett talk to each other about how their lives were going in terms of Red, Yellow, and Green. Just by listening to their conversations, this technique was being added to my leadership toolkit. Even if I didn’t realize it.

Without any planning, during a video call with a colleague and friend, I wanted to take our conversation a bit deeper and check in with her.

So, I stumbled through my best application of the Red-Yellow-Green and asked her how she was doing.

Despite the fact I had never used this technique before, it led to a response I was not expecting.

My friend shared that she was having a terrible day and was struggling to even be mentally present to do her work all week.

Her family had just experienced a devastating loss and she was grieving.

It was obvious her inner-state was red. And, for good reason.

Knowing my coworker was going through this level of sadness and still showing up was an encouragement to me. And, it was an opportunity to pray for her and continue to check in with her more frequently.

Was the Red-Yellow-Green an established routine in our one-on-one calls?

No.

Did I know the science behind the method?

No.

Was I good at explaining what I meant by Red, Yellow, and Green and why I was asking the question that way?

Not at all.

Did I encourage and support my friend and teammate that day using this easy technique?

I believe I did. And, I know she did the same for me.

And that’s the main reason I am sharing this tool with you.

Check in with your teams. It makes a difference.

This one incident reminded me of the power we each have to make a difference in someone’s life by simply checking in with them.

We don’t have to use some fancy technique. The Red-Yellow-Green method is simple and will get the conversation started.

And, as I demonstrated, we don’t have to get it exactly right.

Our teammates, and people in general, are longing to know that someone cares about them.

The simple act of hearing someone make an effort to ask us if we are doing okay has a positive impact. The Red-Yellow-Green technique makes it more natural for the person to reply in a meaningful way.

The person we ask may not share any information with us. I encourage you to not interpret that response, or lack of response, as an indication of failure. You’ve taken a step to connect with them. To build a deeper relationship with your teammate. That action alone carries with it a degree of success.

And, don’t just check on your team once.

Check in with your team again and again

Persist and check in with your team again and again when it’s appropriate.

The second time you ask if they are red, yellow, or green, they may be ready to share and trust you with more details about what they’re going through and how you can help. Or maybe the third. Or the seventh.

And remember, you don’t have to be perfect in using this technique.

In fact, your imperfection may be the very thing that communicates to your teammate that you sincerely care about them.

I encourage you to be intentional this week to ask someone if they red, yellow, or green.

Who knows. You may change them from a yellow to a green just by asking.

Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.

Greg

Discussion Questions

• What techniques do you use to check in with your team?

• How might you integrate the Red-Yellow-Green method in your organization?

There are many ways to stay connected with our teammates. I would appreciate learning the tips and tricks you use with your teams for effective check-ins. Please share your experience and wisdom in the comments section so we can learn together.

About the Author – Learn more about Greg

Click here to download the free guide.

How to Write a Professional Email: Make a positive impact with every email you send.

The post An Easy Way To Check In With Your Team appeared first on Greg Harrod.

One more hidden danger of being a respected leader

I’ve done several posts recently on the dangers of being a respected leader.

You wouldn’t think that leading in a way that produces followers who admire and emulate your behavior for all the right reasons would introduce risks to you and your team.

But it does.

Today’s post on groupthink is directly connected to my post 3 Powerful Ways to Disagree When You Agree. There I outlined strategies to use when you recognize the warning sign of your team regularly reaching agreement quickly and without conflict.

Groupthink also contributes to the traps of getting comfortable (A Hidden Danger Of Being A Respected Leader. How To Avoid This Trap.) and duplicating an admired leader (How to Keep Your Team From Being Just Like You.).

The dangers I describe in these three posts have a common theme.

Teammates often feel compelled, whether they realize it or not, to conform.

And, this describes what is known as “groupthink”.

Groupthink defined

According to Psychology Today the term “groupthink” was first introduced in the November 1971 issue of their publication by psychologist Irving Janis.

Here is the definition of groupthink from Psychology Today. I recommend the full article to learn more on this topic.

Groupthink is a phenomenon that occurs when a group of well-intentioned people make irrational or non-optimal decisions spurred by the urge to conform or the believe that dissent is impossible. The problematic or premature consensus that is characteristic of groupthink may be fueled by a particular agenda—or it may be due to group members valuing harmony and coherence above critical thought.

Psychology Today

The words “well-intentioned people” and “non-optimal decisions” highlight the importance of this topic for you and for me.

If you’re reading this blog, you are striving to be a kind and confident leader. You are “well-intentioned” and your teams likely are too.

And, no leader wants to make “non-optimal decisions”. Or worse, “irrational” decisions.

To lead well, even when our motives are right, we need to avoid groupthink and help our teams do the same.

To do this effectively, we need to start with what we believe.

2 beliefs to avoid groupthink

I’m sure there are many more beliefs we could include in this discussion. But, I see these two as critical and fundamental.

You may even think they are so obvious they aren’t worth noting.

But, this is exactly why I want to talk about them.

It is easy to say we agree with these beliefs, but our actions may not match what we say we believe.

Because we are “well-intentioned people”, kind leaders with teams who want to do things the right way, we are especially susceptible to “irrational or non-optimal decisions” that come with conformed thinking.

Therefore, let’s focus on these two important beliefs to help us avoid groupthink.

The first belief is described well by my friends at the Kansas Leadership Center.

Belief 1 – There are multiple interpretations to be considered

Take a couple of minutes to watch this short video from the Kansas Leadership Center then keep reading for a few of my thoughts on how this mindset equips us to avoid groupthink.

Like all the content produced by the team at the Kansas Leadership Center this video is packed with valuable and practical leadership wisdom.

You’ll notice the message is built on an important assumption.

The way we interpret a situation is not the only way a situation can be interpreted.

You may be thinking that this is obviously true. Something everyone knows.

I agree, but as I stated above, sometimes our actions reveal that we have forgotten this obvious truth.

Groupthink is a behavior that exposes that we aren’t acknowledging, or perhaps valuing, other interpretations of a situation.

This is especially important for healthy, successful teams to remember. Great leadership brings great results.

And, this success can create blind spots.

We can begin to think that because our way of viewing the world works, it is the only way, the only perspective.

But, it’s not. And we have to remind ourselves of that.

Those outside our group of teammates likely don’t see things how we see them. They haven’t been included in our groupthink activity.

And that’s a good thing.

Their different, and possibly even conflicting, perspectives might help make our great team even better.

This brings us to the second belief that’s required to avoid groupthink.

Our way may not be the best way.

Belief 2 -There might be a better way

It’s one thing to acknowledge that interpretations different from our own exist. It’s another to admit those interpretations might teach us something.

After all, our entire team agrees. And, we’re a great team. We all see things the same way. We’ve reached the same conclusions.

It’s obvious to us we are right and we are good to go.

But take just a minute to pause and observe the mindset I’ve described.

Do you see it? The danger that having a strong team of trusted teammates who think alike can bring?

We’re groupthinking.

It’s easy to get blind spots built on the confidence we have in ourselves or our team.

That confidence may be fully justified based on our exceptional past performance and amazing team dynamics. But, it may also keep us and our team from improving.

This is why it is critical that we focus on being open to the idea that other perspectives might make our team even better.

If we and our teammates can commit to being open to sincerely listen to what others have to say, we are more prepared to avoid groupthink.

But, how does this play out in real life with our teams? How can we put what we believe into action?

Here are some practical tips I’ve found useful.

5 practical tips to avoid groupthink

Make your team aware. Talk with your team about the dangers of groupthink and conformity. Encourage them to look for warning signs. Invite them to speak freely when they see a lack of diversity in the team’s way of thinking.

Assign a “devil’s advocate.” Pick one or two team members to rotate into a role of intentionally representing an opposing view when the group reaches consensus. This technique was used by President John F. Kennedy when he assigned his brother, Robert, this role following the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962. Here is an interesting article on that topic.

Explore “tough interpretations”. Our teams can quickly groupthink ourselves into easy interpretations. Tough interpretations are those that make us uncomfortable, but may still hold some truth we need to consider. The video above and the book Your Leadership Edge [affiliate link]  teach more on this topic.

Zoom out. As a leader we can help our teams avoid groupthink by stepping back from the group and taking a broader view. You can find more information on how to do that effectively in my post, How To Serve Your Team By Zooming Out.

Fear your ego. Our pride is a dangerous thing. Hearing our entire groupthinking team tell us we’re right can destroy our humility. To avoid groupthink, we need to surround ourselves with trusted colleagues who will tell us what we need to hear even if it’s not what we want to hear.

I include more actions in my post 3 Powerful Ways to Disagree When You Agree that will help you and your team avoid groupthink too.

Put our beliefs into action to avoid groupthink and improve

It takes preparation to avoid groupthink and the dangers that come with it.

Establishing these two core beliefs personally and with our teams is a powerful first step.

And, taking the five suggested actions will help you and your teams increase the diversity in your thinking and perform even better as a result.

Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.

Greg

Discussion Questions

• What other actions do you recommend for leaders and team who want to avoid groupthink?

• How have you considered multiple interpretations to situations you’ve encountered?

Your interpretations and perspectives are important to me. Please share your experiences in the comments section so we can learn together.

About the Author – Learn more about Greg

Click here to download the free guide.

How to Write a Professional Email: Make a positive impact with every email you send.

The post Focus On These 2 Beliefs To Avoid Groupthink appeared first on Greg Harrod.

Consensus without conflict is a warning sign

Are you on a good team? Maybe even a great team?

I hope you are. But, even if you aren’t, I’d like you to do a quick mental exercise.

Take a moment to consider some dynamics of this great team you’re a part of. Or would like to be on.

This team could be any size. It could be 30 people in a large corporation or just you and the only other employee in your small business.

You may be the formal leader or a team member without a position of authority.

Everyone on the team respects each other. You communicate well. Everybody gets along.

You identify challenges and find agreed-upon solutions. And, you do it quickly.

You’re tight as teammates. The team chemistry is amazing. It’s almost as if you know what your teammates are thinking. How they are going to respond.

You all know how things should be done. They think like you think. You think like they think.

It’s a perfect team, right?

Wrong.

Far from it.

A team that reaches consensus quickly and without conflict could be in serious danger.

To be a great team member and build a successful team you have to learn to disagree even when you agree.

This skill doesn’t come naturally. It has to be learned and practiced.

This is especially true when the team is led by an admired leader who is leading people well.

Another hidden danger of being a respected leader

In my blog post, “A Hidden Danger Of Being A Respected Leader. How To Avoid This Trap.” I raised the red flag to signal the dangers associated with being a leader people respect. I wrote about the trap of getting comfortable.

The post, “How to Keep Your Team From Being Just Like You.” explored ways to prevent simply cloning an admired leader which is another pitfall to avoid.

As with those dangers, lack of conflict and easy consensus is a subtle trap for leaders and the teams they’re on.

Quick agreement can come naturally to teams who are led by a person the team members really want to follow.

Why?

When teams are formed intentionally through hiring or selecting team members from existing employees, it’s natural to choose people who have similar views of how things should be done.

Common values. Shared goals. One vision. Everyone moving the same direction.

These are all good things, but the agreement on these overarching principles can prevent us from embracing diversity of thought and inviting dissenting views.

So, if you find you and your teammates agreeing quickly and often, pay attention to this warning sign. Take action to avoid the dangers ahead of you. As a starting point, try out these 3 ways to disagree even when you initially agree.

3 actions to help you disagree when you agree

Depending on your starting point, these actions may be difficult for you or for those on your team.

I get it. These steps aren’t always easy for me to take either.

So, I’ll start with the action that will probably be the least uncomfortable. We’ll work our way up to the one that will take some courage.

We’ll begin where you can have the quickest impact. With you and your own team.

1. Challenge yourself and your team

Let’s go back to how I described your team in the introduction.

You reach agreement quickly.

We also said that may not be a good thing.

With that in mind, try challenging your team to get better by making one of these statements the next time you quickly reach a consensus without much debate or conflict.

Discussion starters

We all seem to agree on the best way to solve this problem. But, I’m wondering if we’ve missed something. If we were forced to pick a different solution, what path might we take?

As I think about the comments we’ve each made to get us to this decision, they all sounded basically the same. It’s good that we’re aligned. But, let’s challenge our thinking. Would someone be willing to share a thought you don’t really agree with but crossed your mind as we were talking? You don’t have to defend the idea. Just tell us what it was so we can discuss it.

Okay. We’ve all agreed on our next steps. But, surely we don’t all agree 100% on every part of the actions we should take. Let’s each take a turn sharing one thing we don’t like about one of these steps. This doesn’t mean we aren’t committed to the plan, but let’s force ourselves to think about seeing things in a different way.

Creating an environment of openness and curiosity

Statements like this invite each team member to challenge themselves and, therefore, the entire team to entertain a different perspective.

These discussion starters force each person to disagree when they agree at first.

These invitations for dialogue create an environment of openness and curiosity to explore new ideas and solutions.

Based on my experience, you will find that those who quickly agreed initially may realize they aren’t fully aligned after a deeper conversation.

When invited or challenged to provide an opposing or different perspective, they may open up with their unspoken views. This may lead to healthy debate which can produce an even better solution than was originally agreed upon by the team.

But, the team’s opinion really isn’t the most important perspective to consider.

What matters more is the opinion of your customer.

2. Seek input from your customer

Wait.

Don’t skip this part because you think you don’t have customers.

You do.

You may be thinking this section doesn’t apply to you because you aren’t selling a product to someone. Or you aren’t running a business. You don’t have customers.

I disagree.

Everyone who produces something has at least one customer and likely many more.

For example, if you write emails, you have customers. The people you want to read your emails are your customers.

I write about this in my post, “The Most Important Thing To Get Right With Emails“.

No, the recipients of your emails aren’t paying for your product. But, when you view them as customers you are seeking to serve, you will produce better products, emails in this case. Emails they want to read.

This applies to everything we do as leaders and teammates.

We must seek the input of our customers to be successful.

This is especially important when our team is in complete agreement. It’s good that we’ve reached consensus, but if our customers don’t agree with the decision we’ve made, our “complete agreement” doesn’t matter.

Countless business owners have learned this lesson the hard way. The solution their teams agreed their customers wanted and needed was rejected. And, their business failed.

How could they have prevent these failures.?

The same way you can prevent the catastrophe that awaits your team when you are in agreement with one another but not with your customer.

You need to ask your customers for their input. And, listen to them. Then, do what they say.

Just three easy steps, right?

Not really. The first step is actually pretty easy. But those last two, they take some work.

Step 1. The easy part – asking for customer input

Contacting your customers and asking for their opinion on an idea your team has is not hard.

It doesn’t have to be a formal data gathering session with fancy tools and techniques. Sure, those are helpful and appropriate at times.

But, all you really need is a conversation, a pen, and a notepad.

That’s it.

Just pick up the phone or your computer mouse and set up a time on their calendar. Tell them you would like to get their opinion on an idea your team has that might impact them.

Most people will be eager to tell you what they think.

All you have to do is ask.

Step 2. The harder part – listening to the customer

We’ve covered listening in this blog before. Listening well is not easy for most of us. We have to work at it.

And, it is especially difficult when we are asking for input on an idea our team has already labeled as “great”. Or maybe even “amazing”. “Life changing” perhaps?

Whatever adjective we’ve selected, all of our team has agreed that our customer is going to love it.

Here’s where listening gets hard.

You’ve explained your idea to the customer you’re talking with and they don’t share your enthusiasm.

As you’re taking notes, you’re writing down quotes. And, they don’t confirm your team’s opinion. Instead of jotting down, “Best thing since sliced bread”, you find yourself writing, “Yeah. This won’t work.”

What?

They must need you to explain your amazing idea to them again.

So you interrupt to clarify the many benefits of your team’s brilliant idea. To correct them. Your customer.

See why listening is so hard?

You want them to affirm what your team so quickly agreed upon, but they might not. If that’s the case, you still need to listen to them disagree with you.

This is where the true learning begins for you and your team. The hardest input to hear is often the most valuable.

But, asking for input from your customer and listening to what they say isn’t enough.

You have to take the next really hard step.

Step 3. The hardest part – doing what the customer says

Before I go on, let me address a point you may be wanting to make with me if you’ve studied innovation.

I know the customer isn’t always right. I agree.

Yes. I have heard the quote.

“If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said ‘faster horses’.”

Attributed to Henry Ford

(If you’re interesting another perspective on that quote, this Entrepreneur article has some valuable insight.)

I get the point of that quote.

We don’t want to limit ourselves to only giving our customers what they say they want.

But, in general, if your customer tells you something isn’t a good idea, they are probably right.

This is true even if your entire team agreed it was an awesome idea.

This is why listening to our customers is so difficult. Their honest input might hurt our pride.

It takes humility to admit that the idea our great team thought was exactly what the customer would want isn’t what they wanted at all. If we’re not careful, our personal ego or the collective ego of our talented team could derail our success.

We need to humble ourselves, admit we’re not perfect, and take our customer’s input into account and refine our idea.

This may mean more work for our team. We may have to scrap what we’ve already created.

But, the time invested now to better satisfy our customers we are trying to serve is a wise investment.

Sincerely seeking input from our customers may test our humility.

It may be a bit uncomfortable to request honest input from someone who might disagree with you.

But, how uncomfortable would it be to get feedback from someone you know will disagree with your recommendations?

Your critics.

3. Get feedback from your critics

Stay with me. Don’t turn back now. I told you this last one would take some courage. And, more humility.

We’ve all got critics. People who are going to find fault with whatever we do.

Whether it’s our personal work or the work of our teams critics will pick it apart. They will point out everything they consider to be a flaw in what our team has agreed is a near-perfect approach.

You know you’re going to hear the criticism from them. You can’t stop the people who want to tear you down.

So why not take advantage of their input and make use of their cutting comments to get better?

If you have the right mindset, your harshest critic can unknowingly become an extremely helpful ally.

This is perhaps the most powerful way to disagree when you and your team agree.

Go on the offensive and ask your most stringent critic to tell you what’s wrong with your team’s proposal.

Here’s what I recommend.

5 steps to use with your harshest critic

1. Schedule an appointment with your critic.
2. Prior to your meeting send the person your idea or proposal. Give them plenty of time to empty their red pen critiquing your work.
3. During your meeting, listen to learn and understand. Take detailed notes just as if you were listening to your most valuable customer.
4. Do not defend or explain your proposal except to answer specific questions.
5. When they’re done, thank your critic for their input and end the meeting.

I guarantee you will learn something using this technique if you have the right mindset.

Mindset tips for turning your critic’s input into useful feedback

• Expect unfair or unfounded negative comments. Prepare your mind to hear them so you don’t feel compelled to respond.
• Believe that somewhere in all the non-helpful rhetoric your critic has some valid criticism your team needs to hear.
• Focus on accurately recording what your critic is saying. A video or audio recording of the dialogue is ideal.
• Wait to process the feedback until after the emotion of the encounter with your critic is gone.
• Entertain the possibility that your critic’s views might be shared by a customer you want to serve.
• Be willing to take useful input from your critic back to your team and disagree with what you originally supported.

If you can take this action one critic, you can do it with another. And another.

I suggest you repeat this process with every critic who will share their comments with you.

Their input is as helpful as the feedback you receive from your customers. Possibly even more valuable.

Protect your team from hidden danger. Disagree with them.

When you’re on a great team with great people, agreeing is almost always the easiest and most comfortable approach. And, it usually produces good results.

But, if you want your team to get even better, try something new. Disagree with them.

Don’t settle for first idea everyone agrees with. You and your team can do better.

Try these 3 powerful ways to disagree even when you initially agree.

1. Challenge yourself and your team
2. Seek input from our customer
3. Get feedback from your critics

I am confident you will learn something new.

You will become a more informed and effective leader and your team will benefit as a result.

Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.

Greg

Discussion Questions

• Does your team tend to reach consensus quickly and easily? Have you seen any negative effects of this?

• What techniques do you suggest for leaders to disagree when they actually agree with the team’s conclusion?

I’m interested to know if you agree or disagree with my recommendations. Please share your perspective in the comments section so we can learn together.

About the Author – Learn more about Greg

Click here to download the free guide.

How to Write a Professional Email: Make a positive impact with every email you send.

The post 3 Powerful Ways To Disagree When You Agree appeared first on Greg Harrod.

Aren’t leaders supposed to show those who follow them how things should be done? Don’t we want the people who admire the leadership skills we work so hard to perfect to do what we do?

Yes and no.

In my blog post, “A Hidden Danger Of Being A Respected Leader. How To Avoid This Trap.” I explain how dangerous it can be when the people you lead do what you do.

I know it sounds counterintuitive, but that’s why respected leaders like you have to be on guard for the subtle and hidden traps that comes with leading well.

To be the best leader you can be and keep your team performing to their potential, you have to fight the urge to let your team do things your way.

It is critical to help your teammates realize that copying you isn’t what is best for you, for them, or for the organization.

If I recall one of my leadership training courses accurately, Michael Keaton tried that once and it didn’t work out so well.

Don’t tell my accountant

When I said “leadership training course” what I really meant was the movie, “Multiplicity“.

And, I’m pretty sure if I’m writing about it in this blog, then I can include it as a tax deduction.

My accountant and I will need to have that discussion before April.

For those of you who haven’t seen this classic, you’re missing out. Here’s the trailer to give you the background.

As the clip says, “Doug Kinney is about to get the one thing he needs more of… himself”.

If you’ve seen the movie, you know more Doug Kinney’s was not a good thing.

And, I’m sorry to give you the bad news, but more you’s (or me’s) is not a good thing for our teams either.

Your team doesn’t need another you

Was that loud whooshing sound I just heard your ego rapidly deflating?

Or was it mine?

It may be hard to hear that our team only needs one of us, but it’s the truth.

Even if we’re the best leaders we can possibly be, a leader everyone wants to emulate, there should only be one of us.

Doug Kinney learned this lesson the hard way.

Propagating your imperfections

As Doug created more and more clones, each one carried with them a part of the original Doug Kinney.

The same thing happens when those who follow us do things just like we do them.

They copy the good and the bad.

No one is perfect

I don’t think anyone reading this blog would claim they are perfect. And if that’s true of us, it’s true of the way we lead our teams.

Our techniques and our strategies may be very good, but they still have flaws.

Just like we do.

When others are following our example and doing things just as we would do them, they are propagating the imperfections we have included in our techniques. With the positives they have learned from us, our teammates have also learned negatives.

Copying us means copying a flawed leader. Duplicating our ways duplicates imperfections.

This reality shouldn’t discourage us from wanting others to follow our example. It should, however, drive us to be transparent and honest with those who are seeking to do things they way we do them.

This reminds me of a story from my youth.

If he only knew the truth

I did some things pretty well as a kid. My grades were good. Being in a small town gave me the opportunity to have some athletic success. Big fish in a little pond as the saying goes. I did my best to treat others well. Good morals. To outside observers I was a pretty good kid.

I remember a well-intentioned teacher and coach telling me that he wanted his boys to grow up to be “just like me”. While I was encouraged by his comment, I remember thinking then, even as a teenager, “If he only knew the truth…”

He didn’t know all that I knew about my own failings and flaws. For all the good things his boys might do if they copied me, there were even more shortcomings they would have as well.

If you only knew the truth

This is still true for me now as an adult with decades of experience leading others. Others may think they want to do things exactly as I do them, but if they only knew how many imperfections and shortcomings they get along with the good stuff, they may want to reconsider.

You may feel the same way.

I don’t think this is imposter syndrome or false humility. It’s just reality. (For more on that topic, I encourage you to read my post, “Can I Be Humble And Successful On A Team?“)

Every one of us knows more about our own failings and flaws than those who observe our behavior.

How To Keep Your Team From Being Just Like You

So, what can we do to combat this danger that comes with being a respected leader others seek to emulate?

Here are a three things I recommend.

1. Highlight the concerns you have with your approach

One of the easiest ways to prevent others from propagating the imperfections in your way of doing things is to talk openly about the flaws in your approach.

Here’s a real-life example from my world.

I was talking to a colleague last week about a project. We were discussing the best technique to use to manage the work and communicate progress to the larger team.

During our conversation, we openly critiqued the various methods we might use. Even though we each had tools we liked and disliked and had used successfully in the past, we felt comfortable challenging one another and debating the merits of the different ways of accomplishing our goal.

In the past, this person has told me he considers me a mentor and looks to me for guidance on how to lead teams.

If we had not had an open conversation where he heard me explain why “my way” of doing things had drawbacks, he might have used a tool he had seen me use successfully many times. He may have done this only because he wanted to do what he had seen me do.

Without this discussion, he would have been unaware of the flaws and challenges I’ve experienced with my approach.

To give credit to my colleague in this real-world example, he would not have just followed my lead. He is a rock star when it comes to emulating leaders but not following them blindly without applying his own experience and talent.

But not all people are like this.

Many will simply do what they see their trusted leader doing without considering if there is a better way.

Before we move to my second recommendation, would you please reread the line in bold above?

Take a quick moment to consider the term “my approach”.

It reveals a mindset and a potential obstacle we need to address.

2. Separate your techniques from you as a person

Think about what comes along with using the term “my approach” when describing how you or I might typically do something.

The phrase “my approach” intimately connects how we do things with who we are.

It reflects that we own this way of doing something. We have an emotional investment in it.

So, to criticize the technique we use is to criticize us.

If a teammate were to criticize what we have labeled as “my approach” they would likely feel they are criticizing us as an individual, as a person.

If a teammate is following us and wanting to do what we do, it may not be easy for them to criticize us even if the feedback is constructive and positive.

To free our team members from feeling this pressure, we can try to avoid language that ties our identities to the things we do and how we do them.

We can also make it clear that we don’t take criticism of our way of doing things personally.

A simple statement like this can go a long way to avoiding this trap that comes with being a respected leader.

I’ve used this spreadsheet for years, but I don’t have any personal attachment to it. And, honestly, there are some issues with how it works. If there’s a better way to do the analysis, we should give it a try.

By inviting new ways of doing things, we are giving permission to those on our teams to share their input even when it is different from our proven approach.

In a conversational and subtle way, we are encouraging our teammates to not be just like us.

Being subtle like this is a good approach at times. But, I encourage all leaders to practice being bold in supporting others who are not copies of themselves.

3. Advocate for diversity

Kind and confident leaders are bold and intentional when it comes to advocating for diversity and inclusion.

When your teammates observe you consistently working to increase the diversity on your teams and throughout your organization, they will know you value perspectives that differ from your own.

They will know you want to have people on your team who don’t look like you. Who don’t think like you. People who have backgrounds nothing like your own.

Leading as a visible and vocal advocate for diversity sends a very clear and powerful message to your team.

It says, don’t be just like me. Be just like you!

At the core of a diverse and inclusive team is a belief that each person has a unique set of skills and talents to contribute to the overall team.

Our individual experiences and perspectives make us valuable.

To be an exact copy of a leader we respect and admire is to limit the impact we can have.

By encouraging each member of our team to understand and embrace who they are as individuals we can maximize the effectiveness of each person and the team.

A diverse and inclusive team will always outperform a group of leader-clones. Even if the original leader is outstanding.

Better teammates aren’t just like you

While having more than one of us on a team might seem like a good idea at first, like it did to Doug Kinney, but it’s not what’s best. It’s not best for you or for your teammates.

I encourage you to grab a pen and a notebook and some popcorn and learn this leadership lesson from Michael Keaton.

And, save the receipt just in case your accountant says it’s deductible.

Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.

Greg

Discussion Questions

• What steps do you recommend for increasing diversity on teams?

• How have you encouraged those who respect and admire you to do things their own way?

I’m interested to know how you put this into practice in your life. Please share your experiences in the comments section so we can learn together.

About the Author – Learn more about Greg

Click here to download the free guide.

How to Write a Professional Email: Make a positive impact with every email you send.

The post How To Keep Your Team From Being Just Like You appeared first on Greg Harrod.

We admire people who lead their teams the right way and deliver results. But sadly others strongly oppose them.

The resistance to leaders with high morals and integrity is often fueled by bad motives. Envy. Greed. Jealousy.

The list of reasons good leaders face opposition is as long as the list of opponents seeking to derail them.

Experienced leaders expect this.

But what if I told you the people you lead, the team members who trust and admire you, are also a source of danger when you are a respected leader?

And, what if I told you they are a danger not because of their unscrupulous motives but because of their good intentions?

You might be surprised. And, that’s why the risk is so high.

I want to help you recognize this hidden trap and avoid it.

You need to be prepared to protect yourself and your team from this very real danger of being a respected leader.

The danger that comes with respect

Think of a leader you respect. Someone you admire.

Do you have a person in mind?

You observe how they lead teams. I expect they care for their people and help them deliver results.

If you’re like me, you watch what they do. You pay attention to what works for them. Their strategies. Their techniques.

Then, as you lead teams, you apply what you’ve learned from them. You do what they do.

The same is true for those who look up to you as a model of good leadership.

The people you lead do what you do. And, that is the hidden danger of being a respected leader.

A well hidden trap

When your teammates, those who report to you or your peers, model your behavior out of respect and admiration, it speaks highly of you. It means you are leading well. You’re doing it right.

And, that’s a very good thing. But, the natural response to emulate good leaders is also hidden trap. A danger for you as the leader and for the team members themselves.

Because the danger is subtle and cloaked within good intentions it’s easy to miss.

We would not normally expect that having people do what we do as their leader would be a risk to us and to them.

It just isn’t obvious at first.

That’s why we need to be aware and alert to avoid this danger when we are a respected leader.

An effective trap

Just like any effective trap, you don’t see it until you’re in it and you can’t get out. And, traps almost always bring bad things for those who are ensnared.

With this particular trap, the danger of being a respected leader is not just to you as the leader but to those who are following in your foot steps as well. The negative impact of this subtle snare may not be seen immediately, but it has the potential to bring great harm to you and your team in the long run.

I know that as a reader of this blog, you are striving to be a kind and confident leader. You don’t want to do anything that might damage your team or your organization. Now or in the future.

So, let’s examine the details of the danger your team is introducing to you and themselves by doing what you do.

With this insight, you can still be an admired and emulated leader and you will be equipped to spot and avoid the pitfalls waiting for you and your team.

I’m going to create separate posts in my blog to cover the many risks associated with the dangers you will encounter as a respected leader. I’ll give you tips and strategies to identifying and manage each risk.

In this post, we’ll start with a danger that doesn’t seem dangerous at all.

In fact, it feels quite comfortable.

Keeping you in your comfort zone

If you want to grow as a leader, you must be uncomfortable at times. Growth comes through discomfort.

But, when the people on your team are doing things the way you would do them, you’re going to feel comfortable.

Comfortable isn’t as good as it feels

For example, the report you receive from them is going to be familiar when it’s in the exact format you prefer.

You will feel a sense of reassurance when you attend a meeting and your teammate is leading it just like you would.

One of your mentees (yes, that’s a word even though it feels awkward to me every time I use it) builds a team with people you would have picked if you were in charge.

Aaahhhh. It’s like snuggling up next to the fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa. Soooo comfortable.

And so dangerous.

We all crave comfort

The familiarity that comes with your teammates doing things just like you would do them makes this trap particularly sneaky.

Obviously, the way you do things is effective. You are a good leader. Maybe even a great leader.

The results of your techniques have caused others to follow your example. They may be on your team and delivering results that are just as good as you would have produced using your trusted methods.

They may be maintaining the status quo, but their imitation of your preferred techniques isn’t making you better.

It’s just making you comfortable.

I have not yet read the book, “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful” by Marshall Goldsmith, but it’s referenced in one of my most trusted resources, “Your Leadership Edge: Lead Anytime, Anywhere” by Ed O’Malley and Amanda Cebula of The Kansas Leadership Center.

In the chapter Experiment Beyond Your Comfort Zone, my friends Ed and Amanda write this.

This should be obvious, but experimenting beyond your comfort zone will mean you are uncomfortable. Our default is comfort. We crave it. Our lives revolve around routines. Leadership requires you to resist the human urge for comfort.”

Your Leadership Edge: Lead Anytime, Anywhere

When you are surrounded by teammates who are doing things “your way”, you are likely to be in your comfort zone. Which means you are likely to not be growing or leading as well as you are capable of leading.

I encourage you to exercise leadership as Ed and Amanda suggest.

Resist the human urge for comfort.

How to avoid this danger of being a respected leader

To avoid becoming stuck and stagnant in your comfort zone, try these approaches with your team.

Encourage something to be done in a new way

If you recognize your team is consistently using a format or a method you created or even requested, encourage them to try a new approach.

You might say something like this.

We’ve been using this scorecard to monitor our results for quite a while now. It seems effective and I like it. In fact, I think I may have asked the team to use this format. But, I’m wondering if we can be more effective with a different approach. Does anyone have any suggestions for a better way to track our progress?

The ideas your admirers have been keeping to themselves out of respect for you as their leader may amaze you.

They probably have a number of innovative ways to build on the strong foundation you’ve laid for them, but just haven’t shared them with you.

By inviting them to try an approach different than yours, you will unleash the creative energy of your team.

With their new ideas and the confidence you give them by asking for their input, your team will probably produce greater results than they’ve ever delivered in the past.

After you see the benefits of this technique, you’ll have more courage to take another step out of your comfort zone. A step that is just a bit more intimidating.

Invite actions that may make you uncomfortable

This can be scary, but if you want to grow as a leader, try inviting your team to make you uncomfortable.

That’s right. Ask them to introduce discomfort into your life.

You can start by saying something like this to them.

I’ve been feeling pretty comfortable lately with how our team is working together. That may be because we’re doing things the way I like to have them done. But, I don’t want to sit in my comfort zone and miss opportunities to get better. Does anyone have any recommendations you’ve been wanting to make but didn’t share them because you were concerned I might not agree with your suggestions? If you do, I want to hear them. I want to grow as a leader so make me uncomfortable. You have my permission.

I said this can be scary, because delivering an invitation like this to your team requires you to be vulnerable with them. You are saying out loud that you are not perfect.

It requires you to trust them.

And, trusting people can be scary. Frightening even.

When you suggest your team members may have been afraid to tell you something, you are admitting you might not have a healthy relationship with them.

If they don’t feel completely comfortable sharing their honest input with you, you may have an environment in which your team members don’t fully trust you.

When this is the case, they likely don’t trust one another either. I’m confident this isn’t the dynamic you want with your team.

A humble statement like the one above from you, their leader, is a powerful first step to building an culture of vulnerability, transparency, and trust in your organization.

The comments from your team may be hard for you to hear and perhaps even harder for them to say initially.

With time, however, these authentic dialogues will become easier and the trust between teammates will grow.

One danger of many

Keeping you in your comfort zone is only one of the dangers of being a respected leader. There are many other risks that are even more concerning.

But, don’t let this discourage you on you quest to becoming a kinder and more confident leader.

As we outlined here with the danger of getting stuck in your comfort zone, there are ways to recognize the other dangers and address them proactively.

With an increased awareness and a little training and preparation, you will avoid the risks your well-intentioned followers introduce to you and your team.

Ironically, you will show them the behavior to model so they can also avoid these dangers when they are respected by their own team members.

Let’s lead with kindness and confidence.

Greg

Discussion Questions

• What techniques do you use to recognize when you are stuck in your comfort zone?

• How do you keep yourself uncomfortable and growing as a leader?

I’m eager to learn your strategies and techniques for being a kind and confident leader. Please share your experiences in the comments section so we can benefit from your experience and wisdom.

About the Author – Learn more about Greg

Click here to download the free guide.

How to Write a Professional Email: Make a positive impact with every email you send.

The post A Hidden Danger Of Being A Respected Leader. How To Avoid This Trap. appeared first on Greg Harrod.