Thanks for your comments, Emma. I completely agree that your “niceness” is a leadership strength. I see you regularly approach situations with a genuine care for people even if you have to have hard, uncomfortable situations. The words you chose: empathy, dignity, and respect are such good characteristics of a truly kind leader.

The word “nice” is tricky. Nice isn’t the same as kind.

I know people have described me as being “too nice” at times. It’s been an accurate criticism when they really meant I was not willing to hold someone accountable or enter into a healthy conflict when it really was appropriate and necessary. When I’ve failed to lead with kindness under the excuse of not wanting to be mean or hurt someone’s feelings, I may have thought I was being nice, but I wasn’t being kind. I was lacking courage and not leading well.

I’m getting better at recognizing when I’m fooling myself with the “nice” excuse, but I’ve still got much room to improve.